Random Ramblings Of A Random Hero

I miss you...

2009-11-17T01:14:00.004+08:00

Your Beautiful face,brown eyes that gaze at me, I miss you.
The sight of your hair,caressed by the wind, I miss you.
Fingers run through my hair as my head lays on your bosom, I miss you.
Passionate kisses and warm hugs shared, I miss you.

All dressed up and looking like a Princess, I miss you.
The way your voice sounds on the phone,I miss you.
The thoughtfulness of your actions,I miss you.
Your patience and understanding, I miss you.

Kind and sweet words that flow from your mouth, I miss you.
Laughter that is music to my ears and a smile so beautiful,i miss you.
Making me smile with your jokes and antics, I miss you.
Your many moments of being Miss Perfectionist, I miss you.

Wonderful massages that soothe my weary muscles, I miss you.
The way you eat your food so adorably, I miss you.
The cutest pouts whenever i tease you, I miss you.
Hands clasped tight as we march to our own beat, I miss you.

The joy of a child when we play games, I miss you.
Your great strength that's inside, I miss you.
Love that is so true and divine, I miss you
A day spent with you that is always gone so quickly, I miss you.

These are just 20 outta hundreds of reasons why i love you Sarina! I couldnt bear to be in a world without you. I'm so lucky to have someone so true and so beautiful in my life such as you. I will always love you with all my heart and soul. You are the Greatest! You are my Champ! You are my Best friend! You are my Partner! You are my Everything! I love you baby!!

Ps*i cant wait till i find myself in your arms again :)

2009-11-13T00:04:00.002+08:00

Just sitting here,lost in my thoughts...

Yesterday marked the 19th month of being together with you and it really thrills me to no end. Since the first time that our eyes met till today,ive never regretted falling in love and being with you. Each moment with you is a blessing and i thank you for it my Princess. You've grown from strength to strength and i'm so damn Proud of you my love. It makes me happy when i see you achieve good results from your hard work, among many other great things you do. You're unconditional love for me is the Greatest gift i've ever been given and i'm so thankful for it baby.

Sometimes it feels like a dream when i'm with you. Your eyes and beauty captivate me and i feel the same way i felt when i first saw you, shy. You make me stumble,fumble and tumble like an idiot and yet it makes me feel happy when i see you laugh when those stuff happen.. gosh! :P

You know baby, there is this fear inside. A fear that this is Really just a dream and that i might wake up from it to find myself alone. It terrifies me more than any other fear i have. To ever lose you means i lose myself. It makes me sick in the stomach just thinking about it. I wish that you were here so that i can hold on to you just like a child does to its mother. I try so hard to be a better person for you. I just wanna make you completely happy my love. I may not be able to sing well but i can sure as hell write you songs and poems. I may not be able to be there whenever you are sad but i sure can make you laugh with the jokes that overflow from my mind. I may not be the Best looking chap in the world but I'm the Best looking in your eyes. I may not have the best body or the biggest muscles but i sure as heck have a BIG Heart! This heart beats for you and ONLY you. I love you Sarina Yassin!

You make me feel safe and feel better when the world is cold. You light my path when its dark and as cliched as it may be, you freakin COMPLETE me. Your Imperfections are Perfect in my eyes,ive said before. Those words are my heart and soul :)

I cant wait to see you again

I love You :)

2009-05-15T00:19:00.001+08:00

In life, there are moments that make you learn more about who you are and what your purpose is on this earth. From the moment of your birth to the moment of your passing. Moments that bring great joy to you and immense sorrow too. Moments that forge your spirit with the steel of hope. Moments that can break you like a wrecking ball on a derelict building. Moments where you shine brighter than the stars in the sky and also the moments where your head hangs low in sadness or failure.

People come and go in and out of your life. Family,friends,colleagues,enemies and more. They bring experiences,laughter,smiles,tears,heartbreak and much more. The experiences that shape you as a person. The experiences that you hold dear and learn from to make yourself a better person. Each and every person,good or bad,an important part in the development of your character.

Love shows it's beautiful face and envelops you in its warmth. You know it's love when you can feel that something special in the depths of your heart. The special person whom you know wont fail you and who stands by you throughout the darkest storms and who shares your joy when the sun shines brightly in the blue skies. The person whom you learn from and who in turn learns from you. The soul that sing the joys of being in love with you and who's hand is always stretched out to pick you up whenever you fall. The hand that never strikes you when a mistake is made but forgives and gives you the strength to learn and move on. That hand that guides you along the road of life. The hand that is strong and protects you from the snares of a cruel world. The hand that belongs to the person who adores and worships you. The one who would give up his life to save yours

We grow up with ideals and traditions thrust into us. We are taught right and wrong and sometimes even the opposite. Right things as wrong and vice versa. Some of us follow it. Some of us despise it and then there are those who are smart enough to believe in what they know is right. Having a well trodden path in front of you may be fine for some but for others,it's not the case. Instead, they seek truth, justice and meaning in their lives. These people make their own paths for they know that the answers they seek are out there. They know that only by making their own path will life for them,then be worth living. They strive on despite the odds and the sacrifices that have to be made. They know that only through strength of spirit and determination can they fully achieve a fulfilling and happy life.

As we go about our lives,let us remind ourselves that we are the masters of our own destinies. No one else can write it for us. Seek the anwers that you are looking for and fight for what you believe in. Never give up even if things look bleak but instead soldier on.

Life is full of mysteries that are waiting to be uncovered so go out and find them :)

2009-03-24T20:34:00.002+08:00

Tonight its very clear
As were both lying here
Theres so many things I want to say
I will always love you
I would never leave you alone

Sometimes I just forget
Say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I dont wanna lose you
I could never make it alone

I am a man who will fight for your honor
Ill be the hero youre dreaming of
Well live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

Youll keep me standing tall
Youll help me through it all
Im always strong when youre beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone

I am a man who will fight for your honor
Ill be the hero youve been dreaming of
Well live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

Just like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away

I am a man who will fight for your honor
Ill be the hero youre dreaming of
Were gonna live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

Well live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

Peter Cetera-Glory of love

The lyrics speak so much truth!

2009-03-19T22:23:00.004+08:00

I was deeply saddened and angered when i heard from my baby about what her mum said today. Apparently, her mum asked her about my family and sarina proceded to tell her about them. My dad is a cop and my mum works in an italian restaurant. Sarina's mum then told her that my family isnt Good.

Its one thing to put me down with untrue things but its another if you put my family down. No one has the bloody right to do that and in all honesty, i lost a lot of respect for Sarina's mum. I never thought of her to say such vile things and it Disgusts me :(

I mean my family may not be well to do but they are good people. They are people of faith and they always believe in doing good to people,no matter who they are. I see them come home after a hard days work,earning honest money and i feel really bad for them. So to hear someone put them down for no reason is really too much and thank goodness, my temper is more toned down these days. It really isnt right at all. I really didnt think she would be that ridiculous

***

Its hard for sarina..so damn hard

I feel so sorry for the poor girl cos it takes an enormous amount of strength to put up with all this,being in the middle and all. I hope that she can stay strong and make it through

If i lose her.... i lose myself

Random quotes(cos i miss you so bad)

2009-03-18T17:31:00.002+08:00

*Life is so short, so fast the lone hours fly,
We ought to be together, you and I.
~Henry Alford, "You and I"

*Days of absence, sad and dreary,
Clothed in sorrow's dark array, -
Days of absence, I am weary;
She I love is far away.
~Jean-Jacques Rousseau

*What shall I do with all the days and hours
That must be counted ere I see thy face?
How shall I charm the interval that lowers
Between this time and that sweet time of grace?
~Frances Anne Kemble

*Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. ~Kay Knudsen

2009-03-18T16:04:00.002+08:00

This loneliness eats me from inside and i know that it does the same to you.

3 years apart from you is as good as being sent to prison. No kissing you,hugging you or any form of contact... Your promise to your mother

Heaven knows why she hates me so much when i was the one she liked the best among your friends and praised. I do not know whether she is being fed lies by someone else or in the most likeliest of cases, she just wants to protect you

******

As hard as all of this is, let us never give up on what we have and fight for our love. True love doesnt come around often and when it does, we should never let go of it. No one loves you as much as i do and you know that im always there for your through the Best of times and also through the worst of times. Im never going to give up on you or walk away. YOu are my Princess and i worship the very ground you walk upon.

They say that its wrong for two people from different religions to be together cos its wrong in God's eyes and all that hooplah. Does anyone in their right mind think that God wont accept us into heaven just because of that? As long as we are good people and live by good values, that is what matters. After all, God isnt spiteful, humans are.

My Princess,

I will always love you and i will never neglect you or cause you unhappiness. When there are tears on your face, i will comfort you when i'm there with you. I will make life wonderful and we'll live it to the fullest. I wont ever let you suffer and i will always be there to nurture you and to care for you. I will protect you from all the wickedness in the world and i would gladly give my life up for you if it means saving yours. I do this and a whole lot more because I LOVE YOU

Stay Strong my Princess and Dont let anyone or anything change your beliefs. Words are the most powerful tools and they can either MAKE or BREAK you. You are one of the smartest and strongest girls i know and i trust in you. I love you sarina

Take Good care

2009-03-13T22:33:00.002+08:00

Sarina's mother found out about us today.. i dont know how she did but she found out

In a text that my baby sent me, her mum said that she(sarina's mum) Hates me and is convinced that im a person with bad character.She said that ive a hidden agenda and that one day or another,im going to leave sarina. She calls us two very different people and that i wont give my Sarina a happy life. She also accused me of controlling sarina...

It deeply hurts and saddens me to be accused of all these things and none of which are true. Ive never been a bad person and what 'agenda' would i have being with sarina? I love the dear girl with all my heart and ive always taught her to be a good person so how does that make my character bad? Control her? She has all the freedom she wants with me! The true reason why her parents dont approve of me is for being a roman catholic. Its really so stupid that two people from different religions are forbidden from being together. What does it matter as long as we are good people!

HAte me? that's a really harsh word..

Im going crazy right now but ive gotta be strong. I cant be weak cos if i let fear and sadness take over, this relationship is as good as done for

Sarina... I love you and i would never leave you.. You know that

No one else loves or will love you like i do and i worship the ground you walk upon

This hurts but i'll be strog

I miss you

2009-01-17T23:19:00.002+08:00

Love is a wonderful thing

It makes your world go round and at the same time can bring you down.
There is infatuation and there is True love. Some of us are fortunate in it and others get the stick end off it. I am one of the lucky ones

.....

I met a wonderful girl on the 12th of February 2008 and i've never(and will never) regret choosing to be with her. It's gonna be a year with her in less than a months time and i swear upon my life that she is the BEST damn thing! Life and love has thrown us many challenges but we've always come out on top. Just goes to show how much the strength of this relationship actually is. A weaker one would have seen the couple give up on it and drown themselves in pain,accusations and negativity. SArina and myself have been a constant source of strength and encouragement for each other. Her love is soemthing i will never take for granted and i will NEVER let go of it

Nothing is going to be easy for us because her parents would never approve of her being with a catholic boy and i for one will never give up my identity. Despite all this, i will fight for this love to work out and i know that she will too. I will never love anyone the way that i love her and i'd give my life up for her. I've never had much growing up and i've never really had things easy. I've had to work my ass off for years and i will continue doing that for a better future. My reward is a happy,healthy and fulfilling life with my darling Sarina and NO FUCKING ONE has the right to deny me that. I will never find anyone like her and She will never find anyone who loves her as much as me

Tradition can be so damn stupid! Love should have NO boundaries! I know that some of you who are reading this are probably in a 'forbidden' relationship cos mum and dad don't approve of your partner or something like that. Know what, you can be a fucking coward and give up on what you have and be a puppet with no life of it's own OR you could stand up and fight for your happiness. If they truly loved you, they'd only want happiness for you.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Don't EVER give up! One life to live the way you want my friends...

The beaten path or one that you make?

Quiter or a Winner? The choice is yours...

I know what i am and God help anyone who tries to stop us or wish ill on us

I've never been a bad person and have always done as much good as i can. So to whoever is reading this, if you don't agree with what i say,i have nothing against you. I want nothing bad spoken about Sarina or myself

For our friends and those who know how happy we are, support us and give us your blessings

Jason

2008-11-26T20:54:00.002+08:00

It has been a really long time since i've sat down to update my blog and i apologize to those of you who have been kept waiting for a new post.. You know who you are :D

I hope that i don't disappoint.. Here goes

***

I want to talk about the ups and downs of love. All of us who has had or have the pleasure of being in love with someone has gone through the many highs and lows of a relationship. Some people fail to understand that no relationship is perfect and think that them being with someone else is going to make things better. They cheat, they lie and they end up with heartbreak. I feel sorry for these people who have this kind of mindset.

There are of course the exceptions. One such good example is my beautiful baby girl Sarina. We've had our share of ups and downs but no matter what, we still stick together as a team. We do fight, we do have arguments and all but at the end of the day,we both know how much we love each other

* This post is dedicated to my one true love.. Sarina

~Some of you may know that i'm a fan of the tv series The Simpsons. Now, most people categorize the show as a mindless half an hour of cartoon humour but in real fact, there is so much more to the show than that. There are life lessons to be learnt from it. From the characters to the plots, the show gives us plenty to think about as human beings

*There's the dad Homer Simpson, who despite all his slow wit and perpetual stumbling,bumbling and messing up, always tries to make things right(which he fails to most of the time)Homer is crude, overweight, incompetent, clumsy, and lazy(always seen scarfing down donuts and swigging beer) however, he is also fiercely devoted to his family and often show's his caring side

*There's Marge,the mum who is always overworked and under appreciated by her family. She tries to be perfect but she can't be all the time. She's well meaning and is the voice of reason in the family

*The most popular character in the show, Bart is mischievious, rebellious and has no regard for authority. He constantly enrages everyone in the household(especially homer who'd strangle him) He bullies his sister Lisa and often does things to hurt her.Despite all this, he loves her deeply and always apologizes when he goes too far. BArt is the wild rebel who we all secretly want to be from time to time

*Lisa Simpson is the smart one in the family and like her mum,often feels unappreciated in her family. She is morally righteous and would do anything to get her views across. She does have her flaws too as she gets emotional easily

*Maggie Simpson...not much to say :P

**

I'm not going to list out all the characters in the show. That would be besides the point of this post. What i wanna say is that each and every one of us can relate to all these characters. There's a Homer,Marge,Bart etc in ALL of us. We as human beings are delicate creatures with many a flaw. When we fumble up something, give in to laziness, act boorish, that's the Homer part of us. When we try to be perfect but fail, that's the little Lisa in us. When we put people beneath us or abuse the power we have, that is us being Mr Burns(Homer's evil employer at the power plant) When we have sadness inside us but put on a smile and try to cheer all those around us,That right there is us being Krusty the Klown(something i'm familiar with)

There are many issues these characters deal with which are similar to what we ourselves experience in real life. No matter how much Homer messes up and angers all those around him(especially Marge) he still tries his best to make up for it. As for Marge, despite all that Homer does to hurt or annoy her, she still loves him greatly and sticks with him no matter what happens. This shows that true love can really conquer all

Bart hurts Lisa constantly with his mischief and selfishness and lisa often ends up hating bart and cries. In the end,bart learns his mistakes and out of love for his sister,apologizes. We often hurt the people we love without realizing it but when we do realize,we have to learn how to accept the blame for the wrong we did and apologize

You see,the Simpsons really do give us stuff to think about and to learn from. Who ever said watching cartoons was bad for you...

Eat my Shorts!!

**************************************************************************************

I hope that all of you get the point i'm trying to get across in this post

*To my baby, i'm sorry for all the times i;ve fucked up and for all the times you've messed up, i forgive you

This love we share is Incredible and i don't wanna be with anyone else but you.

Never let the negativity and the bad things ruin this relationship. We both have to be strong and not let ANYTHING affect the love we have for each other. The easiest thing to do in a relationship is to walk away and give up. We're BOTH stronger than that

Sarina darling, i love you very much

Thank you for being the wonderful girl that you are and for making this monkey a very happy one. Nothing compares to your true love baby

Thank You

Jason

The End of a Beautiful Getaway and back to a world of despair...

2008-11-01T00:36:00.002+08:00

3 days and 2 nights..

So much love and joy in that short space of time. Being away from everyone and with my baby in my arms. It was wonderful and it felt so good. The wonderful warmth my baby brings to my soul makes all the pain go away.

She is my Angel and she watches over..

3 days of laughter,hugs,kisses and more. Smiling so hard when she does the cute little things she does. She's my Baby :D
She loves me dearly and i thank her for being the Best for me. She's Awesome

2 nights spent in each others arms. Dancing,Drinking and making more smiles

Humming to a tune together.. La La La.. :)

When weariness crept into our bones, we slept.. Our bodies snug close together

Alas 3 days and 2 nights went past so fast.. It was hard to leave
I wanted to spend more time in my baby's arms but i have to wait.
I miss her.. I love her so much

Back home to where the walls are cold..
The person i call mother driving me insane with hurt and false accusations

I snapped.. I yelled.. I hit myself hard... I'm sorry

What can i do to make you proud? You don't see the struggle i go through. You think that i'm lazy and good for nothing. How blind and ignorant can you be?
Everything that goes wrong is somehow my fault! WHY???
You always seem to have a bone to pick with me.. Go ahead.. I've got 206.. don't wear yourself out

What's happened to you? Where has my mother gone? The woman who once held a little boy with a mess of curly hair in her arms and sang him lullabies. The mother who would take that little boy out to the zoo and smile when he giggled in joy

Where did you go?

I miss you

I look into the mirror and i see not my face in tears but that of that little boy from long ago...

Two women in my life..

My mother and the future mother of my children

My sadness and my Happiness

I want to let go of the first and put all my energy into the new.. A brand new start to life with Sarina

She's My Princess and i love her

No one has the right to deny us our love or tear us apart
Not even God..

2008-10-28T00:36:00.001+08:00

PS* HAPPY DEEPAVALI TO ALL!!!

Doesn't matter whether you're muslim,christian,hindu or whatever!

We're united and we should celebrate as one!

Peace!

2008-10-28T00:07:00.002+08:00

We lost a member of the family today.. One of the feathered kind..

*I was awakened from my slumber to the shouts of my father who asked me to run downstairs and look for the little blue birdie we keep as a pet. He had been washing the cages and the birdie flew outta the window.

I searched frantically despite my heavy eyes and tired body but to no avail. I looked all over and combed every area around my block but in the end, the little blue birdie could not be found. I had no heart to give up the search because by doing so, i would would seal his fate. After a while, i turned around and trudged back home with the awful weight of guilt in my heart. I felt like i left a comrade out to die in the battlefield.

When i got home, i noticed that his companion,a green lovebird, looked at me as if to say, 'Did you bring my friend home? Where is he?'

I would have burst into tears but my weariness got the better of me and i plodded off to my bed and went back to sleep.

I awoke much later, my tiredness still everpresent and the guilt still as heavy in my heart. I do know that it's not my fault but i feel that i could have made a difference if i had not given up..

Forgive me my friend

*Little Birdie,why did you go?
An open window you saw and away you flew
Into the world where freedom seems promised,
only to find that it comes with a price

Little Birdie,are you afraid?
All lost and alone,with no friend in sight
Where jaws of death await you or worse still,
Cruel childrens hands

Little Birdie,do you know you are missed?
Your partner is silent,sadness beats his heart
Your family longs to have you back,
so please fly back home

*Wherever you are, i hope God watches over you and brings you back to us

I miss the beautiful songs you sing

2008-09-30T22:22:00.004+08:00

Holy Shit!!

The cough syrup i got from the doctor is supposed to make me sleepy but instead, i feel 'HIGH'

I was freakin pretending to be a transformer!!!!!

What in the Blue Hell!!!!!!

My head is spinning..

now i know why some people are druggies but this is something i ain't

***

Good God!!

I realize that i've sent a text sms to my colleagues that said i'm Optimus Prime!

...

DRUGS = BAD!!!

Neeraj is trying to keep me sane now

Sarina... i miss you

btw, i've found out that it's used as a recreational drug!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dextromethorphan

I'm keeping my hands clean off this shit! it's insane!

2008-09-30T19:20:00.004+08:00

OooooooKAY!!!

I saw the doctor and i've been given some crazy meds!

I feel so light headed!

DAmn Doc! Your Cough Syrup is Wicked!

I just took 2 recommended dosages and it feels like i had my usual mix of coronas and heinekens!!!

I knocked into my bedroom door, i did pull ups on my front gate and i had a hard time switching on my toilet lights

Is this how a 'HIGH' from drugs is supposed to feel like?

I can live without it...

Anw, hope the cough syrup does what it is supposed to do.....

What i REALLY NEED IS.....

SARINA!!! RESCUE ME!!!

2008-09-30T17:25:00.002+08:00

I miss my baby so much...

Super Ninja Attack CrossDressing Chimps From the Planet Of Flirtatious Dustmites

2008-09-30T15:59:00.004+08:00

Oh My GOD!!!!!

I'm missing my baby sweets so damn bad

~I was having terrible pain from my fever yesterday and sarina came all the way down to pick me up from work and she sent me all the way home.

My fever is Nuts! I was so weak and in so much pain. I was really lucky not to have fallen down the escalator on the way back when i took a wrong step. It was simply horrid :(

The worst was that it felt awfully cold and my body felt like it had been used as a punching bag.. It was BAD!!

Anw, SArina took me all the way home and she took care of me all the way. She did all she could to comfort me and to ease my pain and God bless her for being such a wonderful person. I bought some soup for us to share as i had not eaten and she held on tightly to me as we made our way to my place. My darling waited patiently as i took a 'painful' shower and hobbled around the house, moaning in pain. I know it hurt her to watch me in so much pain and i felt really bad for it. I really didn;t want her to feel so down.

After we ate, she tucked me into bed and planted kisses on my lips and comforted me with warm hugs. I wished so hard that she could stay but my Princess had to leave. It was painful to say goodbye and my heart longed for her so badly.

As painful as it was to drag my body up from my bed, i did and i watched and waved to her from my window, my heart as heavy as stone. It hurt so much to see my baby leave. I miss her so much when she isn't around. Even as i type this post out, my heart longs for her.

For her touch, her warmth, her smile, her love.. I miss my Perfect Angel

*and Yes, i'm not afraid or ashamed to say that tears started streaking down my face as i typed out that sentence

You'll only understand how i feel when you are TRULY in love with someone who loves you with every fiber of their being. Someone whom you know you can count on to be there to pick you up when you fall and to comfort you. Someone who loves you and who is faithful to you. Someone whom you would sacrifice your life for and you know they'd do the same..

I found my soulmate in Sarina... No one is gonna tear us apart
I'm really glad that i took a chance with her and gave my heart to her. I trust her and i trust this relationship to last forever :)

*To sarina baby,

Thank you for all that you've brought into my life. We've taught each other many important life lessons and i'm thrilled to be in a relationship with someone who is incredibly smart :D (Hooooray for intelligent conversations!!)
You're heart is locked up tightly inside me and no one will ever be able to remove it. The only one who has the key, is you.

I gave you my heart and i know that you are guarding it fiercely like a Bear protecting a Pot of honey( HEy!! You don't wanna mess with a Hungry Bear aye??) hehehe

Sarina, I can't wait for the rest of our lives together. We have something truly unique and special

(Coincidental dreams on the same night and it happened TWICE plus 'reading' each other's minds! :P )

Whatever comes our way,be it good or bad, let's hold on tight to each other and fight for our happiness for if it's one thing that i'm very sure of, it's that i'll only be happy if i have YOU in my life

Here's to YOU, the Future Mummy of my little Monkey Monkeys :3

My heart's Forever Yours

Jason

2008-09-28T20:08:00.003+08:00

There, i've gone and done it now :(

Pushed myself too hard and now i've fallen sick with a fever and sickening body pain. This is what you get when you have to work your ass off and have hardly the time to rest.

What's worse is that i had to clean up my whole room and that involved shifting the heavy mattress and bed frame plus all the other furniture. Stupid me! I hadn't eaten and my body was so weak yet i carried on and was almost rewarded with the mattress toppling on top of me. Laugh all you want at that, i don't care. Almost falling a few times and coughing my lungs out, today SUCKED!!

On top of that, i miss my wonderful baby girl terribly. She was so sad that i was sick that she cried and that realy hurt me :(
I wished so hard that she could be here to take the pain away but she was really busy today and couldn't come over. It's okay :D I know taht she's always thinking about me

YOu know, it's amazing to have found and fallen in love with someone who makes you smile and feel greatly loved. Someone who tries to be there to take your pain away and to pick you up when you fall. I've found her and i will NEVER let her go.
People say that nothing lasts forever but to me as long as you cherish and love each other faithfully through the good times and bad, Love willl never fade away

God bless my baby for all that she is :D

SARINA!!!! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!

2008-09-19T01:01:00.001+08:00

JASON SUCKS!!!!!

2008-09-17T23:46:00.002+08:00

Went out with Sarina Sweetie today to have a look at laptops in Funan. Found some poor dude's student visa on the floor(passed it to my dad when i got home cos he's a cop)

After we were done looking around, a sales promoter for some nail buffer pulled us aside and proceded to demonstrate his nail buffer prowess on me and my baby. He was clearly infatuated with Sarina and i found it extremely Funny :D He kept asking her questions like where she lived and what our relationship was..

The Dude even buffed my nails!!

After we left, i had a really good laugh :D

~

OOhh!! i bought a thick book of horror stories for only a dollar at a thrift shoppie! Wheeeee!!

Baby and i had dinner at Subway before i sent her off :D

***********************************************************************************

Gosh!!!!

I miss my baby so freakin much!

It sucks so much to only see her once a week and i really wish that i could see her more often :(

My baby means the world to me and nothing will ever replace her!

She makes me happy and i'm glad that i found this wonderful Angel :D

SArina Baby, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-10T23:54:00.006+08:00

Damnit!!! My pc is going haywire!!!!

It's crazy and i can't transfer my stuff!!! :(

Anw.. I love Sarina baby!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Took her to McRitchie and we fed the monkeys, took pics with them, fed fishes and turtles and spent a romantic evening under the stars!!

it was such a nice break from the regular routine :)

I was kinda sad that nature ain't the same anymore.
Concrete is replacing trees and by the time our kids grow up, there won't be anything left for them to enjoy.

Humans SUCK!!!

Anw, the day spent with Sarii Sweets was GREAT!!!

Awesome Fun!!!!

I MISS MY BABYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

SArina!! Sarina!! Sarina!!!

Woohoooooooo!!! I love this Girl!!!!

:D

She's the BEST!!!!

Jason Sensation

2008-09-10T22:53:00.006+08:00

Gosh!

It's been such a long time since i've updated my blog. I've been too busy with work and my medical and i hardly have the time to use my pc. What's worse is that my pc is giving some trouble :P

Here's a brief update on what's transpired between the last post until now.. Forgive me cos i've not enough time :(

~

My baby love celebrated her 18th birthday last week(2/09/08) :D

Her friends planned a birthday surprise at a chalet(sanjay's grampie's place) for her and she had a shock when i appeared with a cake :D
The look on her face was priceless :D

I had told her earlier that i would be working and wouldn't be able to make it so it was a huge surprise when i showed up and she was really happy

ANW.

The chalet was awesome fun.

I had so much fun and it was really nice to meet the rest of her friends :)

There was dancing, a bbq, drinks and swimming!!! WHEEEEE!!

During the chalet, My baby and i bonded even more and whatever we talked about or the things that happened made us even closer than ever. We both learned that a lot of patience and understanding is needed for this relationship to blossom even more. I ain't gonna say much more cos it's between my sweetheart and me.

When it was time to leave, it hurt so much and i missed her terribly after i sent her off.

~A day after her birthday, i met up with my baby love to watch WALL E and it was such a super cute movie :D

We had lunch at Orange JUlius and then i surprised her with her birthday presents.

*NOT gonna tell you what they were :D

*Price is not a factor when it comes to my sweetheart. She has been amazing and she deserves everything good. There are times when i've not been the best boyfriend but she is patient with me and puts up with my nonsense. I think it's really hard to find someone like that*

MY BABY LOVE AND ME :D

~The following saturday, Sarii sweets brought me to Escape Theme PArk and we had a BLAST!!! It was my first time there and she made sure that i had fun.

I loved the Go KArts and the Inverter!! Super Fun and i really wanna go again :D

ps*Thanks to Jai for the free tickets

here are some pics...

AFTER THE VIKING RIDE>>>MY HAIR IS OFF THE CHAIN!!!!

WAITING IN LINE FOR THE GO KARTS>> MY HAIR STILL SUCKS!!!

IN THE FERRIS WHEEL AND HIGH ABOVE EVERYONE ELSE :D

~ The past few weeks has brought it's share of pain and happiness but one thing is for certain. Sarina and i are made for each other and nothing in this world or in heaven, can seperate us or tear us apart. I love this girl with a passion and won't take any shit from anyone. If you ain't happy about us being together then you can kiss my monkey ass!

Life is worth Living when you've found someone worth dying for. I found her and i'll cherish her forever

*SArina baby, thank you for the wonderful gift of being you. There are times when you drive me insane but the good you do outweighs the bad. In my eyes, you're the Best and Perfect girl for me. You're the most beautiful and amazing person and i'm proud to call you mine

Here's to FOREVER with you my darling

:D

Te Amo

Jason Sensation

2008-08-22T01:33:00.003+08:00

This is the Toy that my BABY LOVE bought for me!!!(the one mentioned in one of my blog entries)

My Baby is the BEST!!!!
NO ONE can say otherwise!!
She is Awesome!!!( i think i've said this a thousand times!)

WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

:3

GoSh Darnit!! i NEED to sleep now...

bye bye

FUCK YOUR LABELS!!! EL SenSacion is PISSED!!

2008-08-22T00:59:00.009+08:00

¬ There's been a lot of 'drama' and bitching going on at work and it fuckin ruins the mood and spirit of working in Crumpler. It's all because of One Fuckin Idiot and his 'Plastic' Existence! Fuckin PUSSY talks shit behind people's back but puts up a front in front of us. Imagine that! Saying bad stuff about your own friends?? FUCK YOU!!!

Nobody dares to say anything but i'm biding my time.. I just shut my mouth cos i need the damn money for my stupid medical..

PUSH me too hard and i'll SNAP your Head off! Fuckin Pathetic Pussy!

I fuckin treat you as a good friend and you do this shit!
The world doesn't revolve around YOU my friend! Remove those rose tinted glasses and you'll see the REAL world.

Rich and Spoilt people are the God Darn BANE of my existence! They couldn't give two shits about the people who are less fortunate than them.

>>>Now that i've Vented my frustration at this Asshole out, here's some pics of the good moments at work<<<

*Crumpler Buddies!!

*Work is Fun with these 2 around!!

*Josh and Jas - - - BANDITOS!!!

*Working here is driving me INSANE!!!

*Losing my Mind and Losing Control

2008-08-14T23:10:00.002+08:00

* Please forgive me for this short and muddled entry. I'm too damn sleepy!! :P

~LAst Night was Awesome!!

SArina's classmates had a BBQ at East Coast and i came down after work to join them. It was so damn fun!

I bought a sunflower and surprised my baby when i arrived :)

Though it was the first time i was meeting most of them, they warmed up to me quickly and i felt like i was part of the class.

Good Food, Good Friends and Laughter by the Bucket Loads :D

PS* Drunk people say and do the funniest things :D

We spent the night at the beach and my baby came over to my place to take a nap, bathe and then head home

To be honest, i felt really jealous cos i miss being in school and i'll have to wait till next year to have a chance to be in one.. Fingers crossed

**************************************************************************************

~ On to the subject of my medical, i was told that i had to go for an intensive sleep study in september which is gonna cost me 1000 smackers!!

There is no way that i can afford to get that kind of money in such a short frame of time and so i'm left with no choice but to cancel it :(

It really sucks when you ain't well to do

Guess i shouldn't complain to much.....

**************************************************************************************

Gosh!! I really miss Sarina so damn much even though i just spent a whole night and a day with her! i love this girl too much!!

She makes me go Wheeeeeee!!!

Love ya!!! Love ya!!!

....okie.. time to sleep :P

6th months Together is the start of Now and Forever

2008-08-12T22:38:00.005+08:00

Today marks the 6th month of my relationship with sarina and i wanna say that i'm really glad that i met her and fell in love with her :D

My baby girl is the BEST thing in my life and i really do not want to spend my life with anyone else. She is the Bright Star that shines the way for me on my Blackest nights and the wind in my sails that pushes me forward when the waters get rough. 6 months has given us plenty of memories both GOOD AND BAD but i treasure every single one of them.

Life is too short and i strongly believe that we should treasure every good thing that comes our way and not take it for granted. If you set your heart on something, do all you can to get it and when you do, make sure that you fight to keep it.

Moments,Memories,Friends and Faces make this life worth living

I've found my Princess and i'll fight to make sure that this story has a Good Ending to it

*To my baby girl,

THank you for everything and i want you to fight hard by my side through it all

I love you my sweetheart. You are the sweetest thing and you make me happy and proud to call you my girl

Here's to the Rest of my life with you :D

MUUUUUUUUUUUUACKS!!!!!!

:3

2008-08-10T22:33:00.002+08:00

Thoughts for today..

*Been smelling stale blood and tasting it in the back of my throat since last night and i felt like vomiting :(

*It's really sucky to not be able to buy food and all i can do is to ignore the hunger pangs

*I am damn uncomfortable when i get hugged by my female colleague and i feel guilty even though i didn't do anything or want that hug

The rest is all Blah Blah Blah...

ANYWAY.....

** I miss my Awesome Baby Girl**
**This one's for you sweetheart**

RISE AGAINST -SWING LIFE AWAY

~Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer or we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
I've got some friends some that I hardly know
But we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand
Until you hold my hand

Ill show you mine if you show me yours first
Lets compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
Lets unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end
I wont cross these streets until you hold my hand~

*No matter how hard things get, you can always count on me loving you with all my heart and to be there for you. You make me Proud to call you my girl and i don't want any other

You are Wonderful and Amazing and every moment with you is a precious gift

The flame in my heart for you will never die..

..unless you're the one who extinguishes it

Take my hand and we'll face this cruel world together
Don't be afraid
Be Strong(er)
I'm always here for you

I love you Sarina

Love you so damn much...

I bled for you....

2008-08-10T00:35:00.005+08:00

This one's for B.P

What a day..

Finger pointed in my direction..Your words hitting me harder than a punch..

Pushing me into a corner.. where Shadows are Security..

The pain was too much to bear and i couldn't keep it bottled in so i ran into the storeroom and screamed my lungs out into my hoodie..

I guess that i did it too hard and it tore the surgical wounds.. Stupid me!

There was a little blood at first and i thought everything was ok but when i got home, the blood ran freely..

like wine.. only sweeter..

Maybe i need to bleed a little to show you how much this means... the puppy that's kicked away, only to return obediently

MAybe i should stop being Mr Nice..
But you know i can't cos it's in my soul to be someone good...

~Changes for the Better... hope in my heart

*Don't blame yourself.. I needed to let it out..

.. i FREAKIN miss my Baby Girl. .

HoogieBoogie!

2008-08-09T04:21:00.001+08:00

.....

I feel shitty

.....

Bummer!

2008-08-09T02:02:00.002+08:00

My baby stopped by to surprise me with lunch yesterday :D

It was really good to see her and we went to get Asal a gift for her b'day from toys r us.

She bought me a hotdog bun and orange juice!! :D

My baby is awesome lah! Even the shortest time spent together means a LOT to me :)

I love my baby to bits

2008-08-08T02:12:00.002+08:00

*here's a song that reminds me of my fight against my 'leech'
It's by the band DOPE and it's called ANOTHER DAY

~~Another day goes by
And I don’t understand or know the reasons why
I’m looking for a change in life
But another day goes by

Here we go again

It’s today
I wish it was tomorrow though I think I’d say
Ya know I think it feels just like yesterday
So lately I’ve been looking for a change
But the more things change
The more they seem to stay the same
Here we go again

Another day goes by
And I don’t understand or know the reasons why
I’m looking for a change in life
But another day goes by

Here we go again

It’s a new day
It’s almost like tomorrow never came
Same old thing same old game different name
And every day I sing the same old song
And today I don’t feel like waking up
But the show must go on and on and on

Another day goes by
And I don’t understand and I don’t pretend to try
I wanna change my life
But another day goes by

Just when I get it right another day goes by

Here we go again

If I could change it or rearrange it
Tomorrow could be all right

So many days gone by
I still don’t understand but now I realize
I’m gonna change my life that’s right
While the days go by
I’m gonna change my life that’s right
While the days go by
I wanna change my life
But another day goes by

It’s just another day~~

I won't lose hope and i won't give up. I won't let this beat me and i won't fall.

Jason Sensation

Could i have this dance forever?

2008-08-08T01:29:00.005+08:00

WORLD!!

I wanna tell you all how proud i am of my baby girl. The things she does for me and the positive changes she is making in her life makes me a helluva PROUD of her.
Some people may have gotten the wrong impression of her but i assure you guys/girls that Sarina means well.

She does have her 'moments' but so do we all and it's only human nature. Sometimes it's really hard but at the end of the day, all the bad things are pushed aside and only the good ones remain.
Forgiving and Forgetting is key in a relationship and so is Open Communication. Without them, the relationship is bound to hit a rut. Sarina is doing well in dealing with things in a more positive light and i really appreciate all that from the bottom of my heart.

She makes me really happy and the wonderful things she does always makes me smile. Not a day goes by without me thinking of her beautiful smile and those big brown eyes :D

*Darling,

Thank you for your true,honest love and for being my best friend and the person i can trust the most. You are the light in my life and the brightest burning star in the sky. We are all flawed but in my eyes, you are PERFECT

I love you with all my heart and soul. You are my Angel!

You are AWESOME POSSUM. You are Everything to me :D

*Quiero estar contigo para siempre--(i want to be with you forever)

Te quiero con todo mi corazón--(i love you with all my heart)

:3

2008-08-07T23:56:00.003+08:00

My dear friends Prim and Suee stopped by at the store to surprise me yesterday. It was reall good to see them and the dearies bought me food and drinks.

*So Damn Sweet and Thoughtful lah!! hehehe

I went for my break with them and we headed to Toys R Us. We had lots of fun playing with the toys and suee kept giggling when i sang along to the nursery rhymes.

OOOOh!!! I spotted lots of monkey toys!! hehehe

The best part was when the 3 of us played with a voice changing device! Super Cool!!

The fun was short lived cos i had to return to work

Can't wait to see them soon.. EP LAunch!

EL SenSacion OUT!!

Tears, Plastic People, Bats and Toys in a Box..

2008-08-07T00:30:00.005+08:00

Gosh! It's been a while since i've touched my computer.

Lots of things have happened in this few days, both Good and Bad...

*First up was the medical i went for on Monday for my post op review. I had my surgery two weeks before the day and have felt no improvement whatsoever. The doc told me that the surgery did not help and that i would have to go for more check ups and treatments. I was broken.. i mean, the surgery cost $700+ and it was all for nothing!
It really hurts cos i've put so much of hope on various treatments but all to no avail.. The only thing that came out of it all were tears and heartache..

This Fatigue is like a parasite that eats away at you. It torments and it drives you to the edge of madness. Some people don't understand how it feels to feel trapped and helpless...

**A certain someone at work has been bitching and complaining over the smallest things. It's really stupid and i think that some of the stuff said about me is unfair. I'm not gonna mention the name but if that person happens to read this then THAT person will know who it's about. TAke for example my surgery. I was given seven days of mc and yet i only took 5 out of it because i couldn't afford to lose money. The very next time i took an mc was because i had a medical in the afternoon last monday. Apparently to a certain someone, it's a BIG HOO HAH! That person thinks that i'm gonna take mc's consistently! You go around bitching to your friends in other Crumpler stores.

SERIOUSLY!! C'mon!! You think i fuckin take it for fun? This is not the only thing that pisses me off. You know, i'm so damn close to telling you off in your face about how much of a reality check you need but i keep my mouth shut out of respect. My Friend, take time to put yourself in my shoes. Don't be a goddamn coward and bitch behind peoples back
Ps*Don't think that someone told me this stuff cos i observe and find out stuff on my own.

Scrapping whatever money i have for my bills to the point of skipping meals etc. It's all damn sacrifice! You're born with a silver spoon in your mouth and you don't have to worry about lots of shit so PLEASE.. from a friend to another.. have more heart and be more down to earth. Do it through action and not just by words.

***My sweetheart surprised me at work yesterday and we took a walk to the toy section in taka cos i was looking for a toy that i really wanted(CARNAGE AND SPIDEY)
I saw two boxes of them a few days back but when we went there, i couldn't find them. I was really sad but i told myself that i would find it elsewhere

Bought Sushi for my Baby cos she was craving for it. Even though i didn't have enough for my ownself, i was happy to see the beautiful smile on her beautiful face :D

I LOVE HER!!!

****My baby and i went to Lido to watch THE DARK NIGHT and HOT DAMN!!! IT WAS MIND BLOWINGLY AWESOME!!!!

As a comic fan since young, i've always been fascinated by BAtman(Don't worry, you're still my fav VENOM) and The Joker has always been my Favourite villian. Heath Ledger(R.I.P) played him to perfection and perhaps even took The Joker to the next level. He was really good! I mean, this is the first time i've been afraid of a villian in a movie. SICK..TWISTED..SCARY

Damn...

Baby and myself headed to far east for lunch and while we ate, i told her about the shit at work, my stress from the fatigue and how damn much i wanted things to get better. .

After we ate, we were walking to the toy store when she stopped me and told me that she had a surprise for me. She handed me a paper bag with a box and a letter inside. I read the letter and the hint inside it told me what was inside the box. .

It was The Carnage and Spidey toy that i had wanted and i was so freakin touched that i cried and hugged her tight. It really meant alot to me moreso because of all the shit that's been bothering me. I couldn't stop hugging and thanking her. It was a wonderful surprise and right there and then, i felt like my gift was worth more than anything in the stores. It was THAT SPECIAL :D

Sarina is amazing. She may have her 'silly' moments but i don't take the bad things to heart cos we are all human. What's important is that she knows her mistakes and she sincerely apologizes for them. It's our 6th month of being together next tuesday(the 12th) and i look back and smile at the tought of how far we've come.

From the strange way we met, to wanting to be good friends but ending up falling in love to the moments we have shared both good and bad. She's wonderful and she's my pillar of strength when my worries get the best of me. I don't ever want to lose her.
One life to live and i choose to spend it with her in happiness and good health

Sarina Baby, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL. Thank You for Being Awesome Possum!!!

:3

Jason Sensation

Suffocating in Misery

2008-07-30T23:54:00.002+08:00

I'm seriously sick of this..

This fatigue is driving me insane and it has to stop. i need to find a cure for this madness before i lose it.

The things it does to me. .The pain. .It's agonizing

The hurt it causes to my baby girl. She doesn't deserve this. It tears and eats at me to know that she cries for the things it does. She's been ever so patient and faithful and i treasure her.

*Sweetheart, thank you for being patient and understanding. I know it's hard for you at times and you put up with the effects of this damn thing. I'm Proud to call you my Partner and my Lover and no one can come in between us or change my love for you. You are an Amazing girl and not a day goes by that i don't think about or miss you.
I love you Sarina. I will fight this 'leech' and be rid of it..*

I've had enough of this torment..
2 and a half years of my life taken away from me. It's not right..

To my 'Leech'

irse a la mierda - FUCK OFF!!!!

Aye Carumba!! Needles!!!

2008-07-22T15:10:00.007+08:00

I went for a second surgery on my nose yesterday and it was a really uncomfortable experience.

The first op i went for was to straighten my deviated septum and for that i was under general anasthesia which to the unitiated means that i'm asleep while the op is in progress.

This time round, i was under local anasthesia which means that only the part that was to be operated on would be numbed and the op was to reduce my inferior turbinates(tissue in the nose that swells when allergents are present)

Anyway, i was really nervous as i lay on the operating table. To be honest, i'm a big baby when it comes to needles :(

BAck to the op...

After waiting for around 15 minutes, my doctor came in to brief me about the whole procedure and soon after, it commenced.

A sheet with a small hole was placed over my face which allowed only my nose to be exposed. I was given a couple of injections into the tissue of both nostrils and i held my breath each time i felt the prick of the needle. After the whole are became numb, a long metal spoke which was attached to some device was pushed deep into the tissue and once it was in, a radio frequency was turned on and the spoke heated up and burned away the surrounding tissue. It was so damn uncomfortable and i could feel some pain even with the anasthesia but i bore with it. At one point, i felt nauseous and my whole body felt unbearably warm that i had to ask them to remove my blanket. The whole while the surgery took place, i wished that i had SArina's hand to hold. I missed her so much..

I could feel and taste blood and fluid run down my throat and i had to constantly swallow the sick taste of the mix of fluids.

The whole process took half an hour and i was thankful when it was finally over. My nose was bleeding and it felt swollen. A nurse came to push me back to my ward and once i got back to my bed, i fell asleep soon after.

A while later, i was woken up by my doctor who came to check on me and said everything looked fine. I was allowed to leave after changing up

Before i forget, a funny thing happened. On the Bed next to mine was a Mat who had ended his surgery and was going home. As he walked past my bed, he bowed his head and smiled at me meekly. What made it funnier was that he was a big sized guy who was covered in tattoos! It was so darn weird but i smiled back good naturedly

Well, it's onna take a few weeks for the results(if any) to show and i'm hoping for the best. I want an end to this fatigue and a chance to get back to the way i was...
Hope in My Heart

I've been given a 7 day mc till this sunday but i;m going back to work on friday cos i can't afford to lose any more money. It's the sad truth but all this sacrifice is for a better future

Some people are so spoilt that they take what they have for granted.... They get whatever they want and don't have to suffer like the 'little' people do.

Sigh...

Anw, Thanks to everyone who gave me their well Wishes. It means a lot guys and girls

God Bless You All

:D

This is the top half of the whole device. the metal spoke at the end is like 5 inches long and it went all the way into the tissue! Bummer!

After the Op, my nosie still bled!

I Promise I Won't Let Go

2008-07-08T16:44:00.006+08:00

These past few days have been a little hard for sarii and me.

We talked about a lot of things. Stuff like her parents wanting to arrange a marriage for her cos to them, it won't be about love but instead on religion and status. The Stress of it got to the both of us and tears were shed by the both of us. I really think that it is unfair in this modern age to adhere to old traditions and stuff like that. I mean, we've only ONE short lifetime on this planet and i wanna live it without regrets. I wanna be with Sarii and no one else and i'll work hard to prove all our doubters wrong. As it is, i'm working my ass off to save up for our future and my damn medical bills. Skipping meals at work and relying on a pack of bread to sate my hunger for 2 to 3 days. That is one of the sacrifices i am willing to give to make the future a brighter one and NO ONE has the God given right to deny me what i want or to take away my happiness. Think about it. if you want something in life, you do all you can to achieve it and once you have it, you make sure that you take care of it and don't take things for granted. As for sarii's parents, when the time comes and i wanna make her my partner for life, i'll sit down with her and talk to her parents. It is a scary prospect but one which has to be done. With all our friends supporting us and as long as our love is strong, i believe it'll win them over. i have Faith

Another thing that was my uncalled for, was my jealousy at the prospect of her dancing with other guys at parties and stuff. I mean, i do trust her and she assured me that even if she did, it would mean nothing and that as long as no lines are crossed it'll be fine with me. She is her own person after all and i am not the type of guy to deny her what she wants or to control her life. That's not how things work for me. Love is all about trust and honesty and i trust every word she says just like she knows she can trust me. My friends can attest to that or else i wouldn't be the first person they turn to when something's the matter.

For those who are reading this and whose relationship is going through hard times or if you feel that the feeling of love ain't there anymore, don't give up on it no matter how bad things may seem. Do all you can to salvage it.
Relationships will be dull and stagnant if everything is monotonous..

Make every day with that person you love special.

Instead of the movies all the time, take them to the beach or something like that.

Have fun and learn to make each other laugh.

Learn from each other and encourage each other.

Don't forget the little things like saying 'i love you', buying flowers(YES! girls for guys too!), asking how your partners day was etc

Don't compromise on anything for the one you love :)

Don't let the little fights spoil things in the relationship. Learn to forgive and to forget.

Most Importantly, TRUST each other and be HONEST

~~For Sarii~~

Baby, i wanna publicly apologize for the times i've hurt you with the words i've said even though you know i didn't mean to. I want you to never doubt that i love you and that my heart beats only for you. I am dedicated to this love we share and i know that you are to :)

I love you very much Sweetheart. Be Strong and don't give up. Keep in your mind all the lessons i've taught you. I am proud of you for all the positive changes that you willingly undertake.

We both know that this relationship will have many obstacles but through it all, hold my hand tight and we'll fight for our love.

I won't give up!

For You..

For Me..

For Us..

ForEver!

~~These Words Are my Heart and Soul~~

Web of Shadows

2008-06-29T00:11:00.005+08:00

Little Spider, Little Spider
Why do you cry?
Are things not going right for you?
I see you struggle up the web your on,
despite how it feels inside.

Do you need a hand?
No you say?
Well, i'm sure you can do it :)
I see a Fire Inside You.
You WILL Do it.

You're not like the rest.
You care about others
and selfless in your acts.
Why do you do it even though
rewards for that are far and few?

You've been bullied for your kindness
yet you put on a smile.
You're patient and caring unlike,
the others of your kind.

You were once full of life
but now a shadow of your former self.
You wonder where all the energy went.
A torment that eats at you.
You had your heart broken and it made things worse
i heard.

Through it all you struggled.
Grasping straws for hope,
searching for truth and the cure.
Your attempts had proven futile,
yet you still see light in the darkness
and keep hope in your heart.

That's Good Little Spider... That's Good

I'm certain that there are Ones that are Bigger than you,
who are not as strong at heart!

Little Spider, Little Spider
What's that you say?
You long to break free from your skin
and start on a brand new slate?
You want to be what you were meant to be?

Then Fight Little Spider!
Push Hard from Within!
Let the old skin drop away
and come out feeling new.
Stretch out your hands and feel,
what it's like to be alive again.

For once you find new found energy,
the Symbol on your back will show.
Then everyone will see that the little Spider has,
Venom in his skin(in time you will see what i mean)

They will know that the Little Spider,
has been given a new lease in life.
An opportunity to make up for what he lost
and to be able to do what his heart desires.

Little Spider, Little Spider

Leave your mark on the world.
Show the ones who look down on you that,
that you are the one that proves them wrong

2008-06-27T22:55:00.003+08:00

Gosh! It's been too damn long since i've updated my blog or touched my pc for that matter. . You guys and gals must have thought i climbed up a tree and forgot to come down aye?

What's happened in my life since the last post? well for starters, i joined Crumpler 3 weeks ago and it's been awesome :D It's a real fun place to work in and my colleagues are wacky! It doesn't feel like work at all and it's because we joke around and the environment there is really relaxed. Fun! Fun!

I'll try to take some pictures and post them up the next time :)

~Sarii Sweets and myself enjoyed watching kung fu panda and the Incredible Hulk! Awesome movies! KFP had so many coincidences that sari and myself share in real life. She's a real Darling! I love that girl! She's the sweetest thing(she bought me a comic book!!!) hehehehe
She makes me so damn Happy and i love her with all my heart and soul.. sounds cliched but it's true!!

~Hung Out with Ramon the whole night on the 24th and we encountered 'Flying Tarantulas' and Muay Thai Trannies!! That's Scary Shit!! Thank God we survived the night :P

~HAd A pleasant surprise when Neeraj and GAya turned up at the store and asked me to hang out for lunch. They brought me to Cineleisure and Sarii Baby surprised me there(she grabbed me from behind and i gave out a funny squeak!!)

*I'll fill up my bloggie the next day off i have guys.. so damn sorry about it :(

TAke Care and God Bless all of You :D

EL SenSacion

S is for Survive Not Suffer

2008-06-05T16:46:00.002+08:00

LAst night after i got the results from my CPAP and fell into depression, i spent the night tossing and turning in bed and thinking about my fatigue and i told myself that all the sadness and anger would get me nothing. I decided to be positive and wake up to a new day with a smile even if the fatigue is bad. Guess What, i didn't feel too bad today and i hope this continues till the day i finally get rid of it.

Dear friends like Prim and Suee also have shit that they are dealing with and sometimes i wonder why stuff like this happens to the nice guys(and girls). Whatever it is, i hope that we find a way to rid ourselves of these 'leeches'

I wanna thank Sarii Sweets for being such a darling and for being true in her love for me. I love you lots Baby Girl :)

~RISE AGAINST -SURVIVE

Somewhere between happy, and total f**king wreck
Feet sometimes on solid ground, sometimes at the edge
Spend your waking moments, simply counting time
Is to Give up on your hopes and dreams, give up on your…

Life for you, has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We’ve all been sorry, we’ve all been hurt
But how we survive, is what makes us who we are

An obvious disinterest, a barely managed smile
A deep nod in agreement, a status quo exile
I shrink my obligations, I miss all your deadlines
I excel at quitting early, and f**king up my life

Life for you, has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We’ve all been sorry, we’ve all been hurt
But how we survive, is what makes us who we are

All smiles and sunshine, a perfect world on a perfect day
Everything always works out, I have never felt so f**king great
All smiles and sunshine, a perfect world on a perfect day
Everything always works out, I have never felt so great~

What do i do? Where do i turn to?

2008-06-04T20:30:00.003+08:00

Guess What, as soon as i posted the last entry, i got my results for the cpap trial and the results show that my air passageways are not the problem so CPAP is not the solution.

I don't know what to do. . I feel so emotionally F**Ked Right now! All this time waiting and for what?? NOTHING!!!

I'm back to where i began. searching for a cure to this madness! Finding a way to free myself from it's clutches..

I can't even type out how i feel right now. I'm distressed! Shitty!

Heartache...

I'm crying my eyes out and i'm all alone here in my tears. This feeling of helplessness is driving me crazy. i HATE this fucking fatigue! What the FUCK did i ever do to deserve something like this..

ANGER
FRUSTRATION
DEPRESSION
HELPLESSNESS

Like some kind of Leech, You suck the life out of me...

SALVAME...

please

CPAP Update

2008-06-04T19:52:00.002+08:00

Well, it's been a week with the CPAP on trial and there isn't any improvement on my condition whatsoever. The feeling really sucks you know. All the hope on it and nothing to show for at the end of the trial.

I guess that it'll take a bit more time before the improvements start to show but impatience is getting the best of me. I mean, 2 and a half years with this shit and i just want it to stop.

The main thing that i don't like about the CPAP thingee is that i have to sleep with a gas mask strapped to my face and it's really difficult to sleep with it on :(

Bummer Days!!

So yeah, what i'm gonna do is to give it more time and hope for the best.

A new Dawn or an endless Dusk??

2008-05-26T18:29:00.004+08:00

This is it.. The wait is finally over..

Tonight is the night i get my CPAP for my fatigue syndrome and i pray so hard that it works. two and a half years with this shit is enough. I don't want anymore pain, tears and tiredness..

My fingers are crossed so tight and i have a prayer in my heart that it works. This fatigue has taken so much away from me and it has to end. I wanna go back to the old energetic energizer bunny that i was. the REAL Jason Sensation! No more the tired zombie that struggled through NS and work with it..

So yeah! this could be my last blog entry with my fatigue problem. I'm excited, i'm nervous, i'm scared but most of all, i'm hopeful..

I'll let you guys know how it goes... wish me luck aye :D

Mosh! MoSH!! MOSH!!! SArii Sweets's First VL show

2008-05-26T16:09:00.006+08:00

Saturday was an absolute BLAST!!!

After almost a month of being away, it was so damn good to see VL and the VLC again. Brought SArii Sweets along for it and was really glad that everyone warmed up to her. She was a little shy at first but by the end of the day, she was just like a part of us :D

~ Met up with sarii at around 3 and we headed off to OUtram to get a prezzie for her friend Feefa. She tried her hand at PAtapon and Winning Eleven on my PSp and we had a good laugh :D

We then headed over to Breko to meet up with the gang and was damn happy to see them. Introductions were made,hugs and handshakes exchanged and then it was down to serious business.....

Our PreShow Ritual.....

The BUBBLES song!!

Oh Ramon! Thanks for wanting to put cigarette ash in my beer! :P hahaha

~Sarii and myself started joking around with Moses. That Baller and Sarii conspired to stuff Fries and his Burger into my mouth and he did!!! Thanks Guys!!

~Went up to get ready for the show at around 7

I was freakin pumped up and so ready to mosh!! After being outta the pit for so damn long,(The last time was Deafcon 9), I was ready for some fun!

~ While Waiting for VL to set up, i bumped into Hanis, my old classmate and lead singer for the band *Dear! Who am i?, jumped on him and accidentally elbowed him in the mouth! Way To GO EL SenSacion!!

VL's Set was awesome!!! Moses,Mike,FAi and myself were moshing and screaming our lungs out. The VLC were behind us singing every word and the whole feel of it was Fuckin A!! If i'm not mistaken, it was Mike who moshed and knocked into ALvin and it was damn funny! The Set was Energetic and the showmanship keeps getting better all the time. My shoes flew off like 3 times while moshing and that exposed my gay SpongeBob socks! Sheeesh!!The BEst part came when Ramon dedicated Memories Shaded Black and Red to Sarii and myself :D The VLC faced the both of us and cheered. Sarii Sweets turned and kissed me. I held her tight and sang along to the song. Goodbye was So Damn Good! The intro of it plus the rap was really awesome and proves my point that VL ain't a one trick pony! Fantastic JOb guys :D

¬After the show, i sent SArii to Hougang station nd it was really hard to say goodbye cos whenever we leave, it feels like a part of me is ripped away. i just love that girl so much and she's simply awesome. After kissing and watching her leave, I then met up with the guys at the Esplanade to watch Ramon's bro, Steve propose to his girlfriend. It was damn sweet!! We then had dinner at Makansutra. Ramon cracked us up when he used Mike's Umbrella to hit himself.( you press a button on it and the top part extends ) hard to explain but it was damn funny.. Trust Mike to have Gay shit in his Bag

It was A Great end to an even Greater Day. I can't wait for the next show :D

Here are some pics and stuff...

Sarii Sweets and myself before the show

The Sensation, Sarii and Moses

Getting my face stuffed by moses

Moses Telling us how BIG IAn's Weiner Really is..

Moses And IAn Getting IT ON!!

Aye Aye

ONAMI and RAMONA - My Secret Admirers

Hot Sweaty GAy Boys! (All thanks to Mike's Shirt)

Kopitiam Kakis!

We Are so DArn Cooooote!!

After Moshing Souveniers

CAn't wait for the next Show!!!

Boy Oh Boy! What a Day!

2008-05-21T20:14:00.003+08:00

Finally got my hands on Neil Gaiman's AMERICAN GODS!! Woohooo!! Been waiting to read it for a damn loooooong time..

Met SArii Sweets at around 12 and we went to the library at Bugis to get my book. *Had an intimate moment with the glass door thanks to sarii!!! hahahaha

I'm so gonna get her back for it!! :D

My Poor dear was really down and i felt so sad to see her that way. She had been feeling stressed out from her schoolwork and things at home and she was not herself that day. . . She is a wonderful girl and it hurts to see her looking so sad and tired.. can't wait for her to have fun this saturday and take her mind Off things. She Needs some time to relax!

We said our goodbyes at Senkang and she was off to meet her little 9 year old cuzzie Shasha.

Oh! Had $4 deducted from my ezlink card cos i 'overstayed' in the station!

Daylight Robbery lah!!!

~ Got a Pleasant surprise when i saw Suee as i exited the train. Was really happy to see her but couldn't stay to talk. I freakin miss the WHOLE VLC like hell!! Been a month plus since i've seen them and i can't wait to see them again this saturday!!

Bought some bananas to eat before i got home!

mmmmmmm...bananas

Then!! i burned my hands 4 times!!

1 one the iron, one on a pot of boiling water, spilling hot tea on my hand and then holding the hot cup.. Gosh! Not Fun Lah!! Ouchies!!

Ok then, gonna go eat my bananas now..

chomp! chomp!

For Your Broken Heart - Dedicated to HAfiz

2008-05-16T23:19:00.003+08:00

I saw your girl the other day and in her hand she held the hand of another. Caught up in bliss and unaware that familiar eyes were watching. My thoughts shifted to you and wondered whether i should tell you. I guess i was afraid of you being hurt but i couldn't stay quiet. How could i? I'd be ashamed to call myself your friend if i did.

And so i told you and you called to say that you had broken up a week ago. Surprise gripped you to learn how fast she had moved on. I could feel the bitterness in your voice, the acid that burned your veins and i knew how it felt.. cos that's exactly what happened to me.

It's so funny how you,her,my ex and me got together in school, were in the same class and were close friends. I remember the time when your's mistook my care for love and cut her wrists. How people hated me even though i did no wrong.. Then you came along, took her into your arms and gave her happiness. The times the four of us shared, the beach and all. i will miss them just as much as you. Can't believe the similarity of our situations man. They took for granted the love of a good heart and left for a God Damn MAt..

Fuck em all! USeless Wallet Stealing, Cheap Beer Drinking, Underage Girl Impregnating,Good for Absolutely NOTHING Fuckers!! Fuck YOu! Fuck You!

I won't go on cos i don't want your heart to bleed further from reminiscing the memories once cherished.. but now shattered..

Just know that you've a Brother here who cares and will always lend you his shoulder to cry on..

My Heart aches for you

Jason Thomas

2008-05-12T02:51:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, it gets really frustrating when you try your best to instill a little positivity in a person you care so much about. It can be a friend, a brother or something more but no matter who it is, the hurt is there when they refuse to be receptive.

You do your best to give them hope and you speak words of encouragement but it turns out to be in vain but no matter how frustrated and hurt you feel, you just calm yourself and try and try again.

When all you want is the Best for them.. Isn't that a sign of care or love?

It takes time and a lot of patience on your part but don't give up. Cos one day, they'll realize how much you care for them and appreciate you for that. If they don't well, a day will come when they will look back and realize their mistake. Just hope that it won't be too late by then...

*Please believe in Yourself

This ones for VL

2008-05-11T19:24:00.009+08:00

I've been putting this particular post aside for quite some time and now it's finally time for the Sensation to deliver..

This One's about a group of brothers whom i've gotten to know and GROW with. A bunch of guys whom i've shared my sorrow and joys with and vice versa. A crazy gang of friends whom i Love to the Death.

They are none other than the BEST local band in Singapore... DOLLTRASH!!!

***eh? a bit wrong leh! Checks my script***

Sorry about that folks, i mixed it up.. DOLLTRASh is NOT the BEST local band. They are in fact ( the name says it all ) :D

Anyway, back to the subject matter, i'm sure you guys know who i'm talking about by now. if you don't, you'd better get back under the rock you've been under.

It's VALENTINES LETTER (cue Ramon Screaming this part)

~~The seeds of this friendship were planted when Dess (the bassist and fellow camp mate in the NAvy) and i exchanged friendly banter and it so happened that while we were in the mess one day. We were chatting about music and he offered me his ipod and told me to listen to his band. My reaction after i heard the songs? * Dude? Are you damn sure this is a LOCAL band? It was THAT GOOD! what's more, the songs were just rough demos. I HAD to hear more. Dess invited me to one of his bands jam sessions the following day and i kept my word and went.

He thought that i was gonna back out at the last minute at all and he was pleasantly surprised when i showed up. The first person from the band i met after Dess was Richard(former lead guitarist)and then met up with the rest of them. Ian(rhythm guitarist and smelly guy), BJ the drummer and last but not least, the Man himself, The Master of the Dragon Kick, The one and only Ramon 'Nevasoba' Cedillo. I sat back and they started. For the hour plus that i was with them, i was completely blown( not in THAT sense) The music was Catchy and the lyrics were Great. They didn't seem like a tight band so it kinda surprised me that their music belied that notion. After the Jam session, we hung outside the jam studio (Boons... Memories!!) hahaha. The bunch of us started chatting and getting to know each other better and to believe that RAmon had thought i was some MAT! hahaha. Oh! Ian has always been the whipping boy of the band and i made a joke about getting him a six pack... of yakult.. The guys asked for my opinion on the band and i told them the truth. they were really good and i saw things going far for them. I've seen other local bands and They Couldn't hold a candle to VL.

That night, new friendships were bonded and i was given the honour of witnessing the 'DRAGON KICK' and the forgotten 'CROCODILE SLICE'. GOD! i laughed so hard and i really needed it cos it was barely a few weeks back that my ex cheated on me and broke my heart. I found new energy in this group of friends and i owe them for it.

~~ I attended more of their jam sessions and helped to take some photographs for them.

*Ramon.. Guys, look at his spongebob socks when he takes the picture! hahaha

The first show i went to was at DXO (Rock On i think). I took the videos for them and even though i was behind the cam the whole time, i enjoyed myself. Oh! i was introduced to the rest of their friends and thus, the Famous VLC was born

Suee(awesome friend), PRim(great photographer and fun to talk to), Fai(MAs Selamat's Twin) FAz(fellow ninja in a hoodie), NAomi(band manager and owes me gummy bears for the pack of cigs!!) Wan (The MAjor..miss him!!) Kai(never say die), Zim ( CS buddy! See BAy Hok Ah!) Shaun (Friendly ass grabber) Moses (Ramon's bro and a great guy to hang with), Michael,Shakina,Zul and the list goes on and on.. Lost count of the number of VLC lah.

THE FAMOUS VLC

~Gigs

Alternation at DXO.. the day i got piss drunk at dess's place and broke down from heartache. Ramon and the guys were there to comfort me and keep me in check. By the time they started playing, i didn't know where i was. Later on, i heard that i was moshing like a lunatic and fell all over the place. After their set, ramon helped me out of the place. i remember him asking me whether i was alright and the next thing i knew, i fell FLAT on my face and suffered a gash beside my right eye. Oh! Alex was there too and he took care of me along with the rest. He was the one who followed me back in when another band played and saw me throw myself at an amplifier. gosh!

~Speaking of Gigs, Deafcon 9 was the BEST by far! It was awesome but the joy was bittersweet cos it was Richard's last performance and tears were shed. VL played an amazing set and the VLC moshed and had a superb time. Damn... feel like moshing again. The trill and insanity of it is simply exhilarating! Oh! Fullflight!! The first time i moshed WITH Ramon and IAn. I sprained my ankle but carried on moshing despite the pain and the boys in November Iris thought i was Awesome for that! hahaha.. Speaking of which, haven't heard from them in a long time. Hmmm.. After fullflight, the boys and myself went down to rouge for a few drinks and to watch a live band. Moshed to the sounds of NIrvana and skanked(ska Dance) with Dess and Ramon! Woohoooo!

~~Recordings

NTU Night boys!!! What a Night!! Funny as shit!

-Dess and me with our cab driver problems(TWICE) - Sparked off the song *What's up with the CAb? Baby! Baby! What's Up?

-Dealing with technical Problems and Shit

-Ramon and myself running around the camp looking for a 7/11

-Richard, Ramon and myself, going all the way to jurong west late at night to get cup noodles.

-JAc Drawing us a map of how to get to canteen.

-Walking in the Heavy rain towards it and getting the map wet

-Having a breakfast of instant noodles at 5/6am in the canteen

-Going back to camp after a sleepless night

PRICELESS!!!

~ Problems..

everyone has them and the boys and myself have been there for each other when we needed. Me, alternation, Dess, at his place late at night, Ramon, after celebrating Ian's birthday etc. Things that happened after Deafcon 9. i won't say much cos it's all personal and they trust me.Sometimes, you don't have to say much when all you need to give is a warm embrace and words of encouragement. After all, VLC means ONE BLOOD. I owe a BIG thank you to VL and people like Suee,Prim,moses and the rest for being there for me. Muchos Gracias!

~Booze

Hahaha.. being in a band and hanging with one definitely involves drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Drinking Heineken and Corona's at Breko and then singing on the streets, Ramon pulling his pants down and running on the road, me jumping on some dude's car, dess flinging his pair of jeans around. Gosh!! Oh! WE have a little VLC tradition of singing West HAm's "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" Song., Don't ask why! hahaha.. Damn! if you guys knew the things we did when we were drunk, you'd laugh your asses off. anw, Thanks to a certain episode where both Ramon and i got pissed drunk (i somersaulted over a potted plant and puked all over the place).. btw RAmon, don't forget that it's our evil twin brothers who were drunk and ruined things. We were both watching alien vs predator 2 ah! hahaha

Anyways, i'm laying off hard liquor. Just beers and wine for me! Oh! and fruit juiceeee!!!

FUn! Fun! FuN!

~Speaking of IAn's birthday, Ramon and myself went all over marina square to look for a prezzie for him. WE ended up in the ladies section of TopShop and decided to get him a pair of panties. It was Absolutely Hilarious! Just imagine two guys going nuts about choosing the design of panty! The salesgirls looked horrified

*JAson - Dude! let's get the wonderwoman print!

*Ramon - No Balls! We'll get Tweety Bird! More Cute!

We needed a marker to write our birthday wishes and i just so happened to have my eyeliner with me! Subconciously, i told RAmon i had it out loud and the lady at the cashier counter gave us a weird look. .. Hahaha.. Memories!!!

Oh guys! We'll never ever forget the time i mistook some dude for BJ and jumped on him in the train station. That was some funny shit!! Gosh! Thank God that he didn't punch me! Holy Crud! We were all in stitches!!

~~VL and the future

Things are looking really good for Valentines Letter. They are lined up for some good gigs and like i predicted( i TOLD you Dess!!! hahaha) 2008 will be the start of VL's rise to fame. As a band, i've watched them grow both musically and personally (NO IAn!! Not the size of your weiner). There was a point where things almost fell apart but the boys are back on track and in focus. Despite Richard's departure, VL went from strength to strength and the new lead guitarist Alvin took little time in filling up his shoes. I applaud your effort bro :D Dess, your showmanship and confidence has grown tremendously! Keep it up bro! Ian, you're still smelly and you're still MAlaysian so No Improvement! hahaha.. BJ, the way you handle those sticks turns me on man! MArc Anthony, erm, i mean Ramon, what can i say man.. We've been through some stuff together and it makes me appreciate the friendship we have.

Guys, if you are reading this, i wanna tell you that i'm Honestly PROUD of how far you guys have come. 7 months have passed since that first meeting and you guys have made a hell lot of positive changes. Picking yourself up from bad gigs and harsh critics (DOLLTRASH WHO???) to reinventing the wheel with your showmanship(reggae Goodbye - GAyboy! Gayboy!). . This friendship is built for life and you can be sure that EL SenSacion has got your backs. The Whole VLC are behind you and will be there at every gig. Even if the crowd is against you and even if we are outnumbered, know that we will Sing the Loudest and Rock the Hardest for you Guys. Never forget how you guys started out and get over your heads. You guys are a heck lot better than any band in Singapore and i know that for a fact. You have my Support and Blessings.
Continue to grow and Shine. Only you can decide whether Valentines Letter MAkes it or Breaks it.

The Sensation Loves Ya

Here's a little trip down VL history

At first, they weren't known as Valentines Letter.. They were known as. . .

YES! They were known as the Backstreet boys and they set the hearts of teenage girls (and Boys) on Fire cos they *want it that way*

~Well, these teenage girls(and boys) broke their hearts and so with angst in their veins, they became VAlentines Letter (Dess, i'm skipping out SweetPunkRevenge cos i don't want you to 'Suffocate')

Hahaha! the 'SpongeBob' Socks Photo

Fullflight!!

Credits to Smunk

Here's there FAMOUS VLC!!

God Bless Boys :D

The Sensation

Say Cheese and Hello!

2008-05-11T19:16:00.003+08:00

I'm in a dire need of a new phone lah!

My M600i has served me well but it's on it's last legs. I am so undecided on whether to get the iphone $650 or the nokia n95 8gb $850

I'm more partial to the n95 cos i need a phone that can take good pictures and videos and the iphone really sucks when it comes to that function. music and storage wise, the iphone is a nose ahead only cos it has lotsa bugs.

Dunno lah! have to save up my money then i'll decide..

Work Sucks.... I Know..

2008-05-11T16:59:00.004+08:00

So it's been 3 weeks since i've started working in Gio and i must say that i don't really enjoy myself there. Firstly, my stupid fatigue problem makes it really hard and even more so because i end work at midnight sometimes and have to get up by 6 plus the next day. Imagine doing that for days in a row. I honestly don't mean to sound like a whiney brat but it is honestly taking a toll on my body and mind. Those who know about my problem can understand my situation and i thank them for it.

Fatigue aside, i don't really enjoy working there cos it's not 'interactive' enough. I like stuff that engages you and folding clothes and serving grumpy people ain't exactly my idea of 'interactive'. Take for example my attachment at Royal Sporting House, when my manager wasn't around, we'd play soccer and golf in the store, climb the 15 foot shelves without a ladder etc. Now THAT is fun at work. Wouldn't you rather work in a place where it's enjoyable and where you can truly say you enjoy working in?

Anyway, it's not to say that Gio is dull. I've made many friends and won over people with my hard work. Engaging customers in friendly banter and making friends from all over the world. Awesome!! I've had my hand shaken thrice in a day from tourists! gives you a FEEL GOOD kinda vibe lah! Ive gotten little presents too.. cool lah! hahaha

Oh! There are even little kids who come up to me and play hide and seek or pick up our merchandise and pass it to me. They are so FREAKIN cute lah!!

So Yeah! Work has it's ups and Downs and i honestly hope that this fatigue goes away and i'll be truly able to show everyone the REAL JASON SENSATION..

Fingers Crossed and a Prayer in my Heart

JAson Sensation

2008-05-11T16:55:00.002+08:00

Gosh! It's been a while since i've updated my blog. Been so damn busy with work and i feel so drained cos of the Damn Fatigue. Working 7 days straight with it is NO JOKE.

I wish that it would get out of my Life. It's like a leech, a parasite, poison..

Sucking the life out of you and leaving you a shell..

To my Fatigue... Here's a BIG Thank you for Nothing and an Even Bigger F you!

Well, i hope you guys enjoy my new posts..

EL SenSacion Out...

Ain't love Grand

2008-04-27T19:18:00.002+08:00

Last thursday, i decided to surprise Sarii at her school after work. I had one and a half hours to get from LP to Republic Poly before her class ended and thank Goodness i made it on time. Was gonna get her flowers but i couldn't find some along the way(next time i will!)

Got to her school at 3 plus and planned on sneaking up on her as she left her classroom but while i was sneaking past her class, she appeared behind me! She had gone to the ladies and came out at the exact time i went past.

So as it was, We both got surprised!! Fun!! Fun!!

It was really so good to see her after such a long time. With me being busy with work and her with school and all, we hardly get to see each other. We literally flew into each other's arms and La La La.... We listened to our song and spent like half and hour going wild with kisses and hugs.. i missed her so freakin much :D

Gonna skip the juicy details aye...

Oh! that sweetheart bought me my favourite pack of gummy bears and i was grinning like a monkey on a banana high! Whatever that means..

Had a quick meal at BK (sinful!!!) cos i hadn't had anything to eat that day and then we headed back home. On the way to the bus stand, she took my hand and placed $5 in it. That little gesture meant so much to me cos she knows that i don't have enough money right now and she gave me her own pocket money so that i could have something to eat. The last time we met, she gave me $10. I honestly feel bad that she does it cos she could use the money for herself but that's the way her heart is. Just like me, she cares so much.

I'm so gonna pay her back tenfold or more for everything!!!

SArii is just awesome and despite her being 'silly' sometimes, she has a good heart and i love her so much for it. She makes me laugh, smile, trip on things etc and she simply makes me so happy! Oh! Her Massages are AWESOME!!!!

(someone should really count the number of times i use the word awesome for her aye?) hahaha

Sarii is my second girl and i want her to be my last. I'm not into a relationship just for the sake of it. I'm in it till the end.

I love this girl and i don't care what other people might say. She's mine and I'm Proud of her for all that she is.

I can't wait to see where life takes us my Baby Girl but whatever it is, with you by my side, i'm not afraid to face anything that comes or way

Sarina!!! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOu!!!!!!!

Pretty 'FLY' for a Indian Guy

2008-04-27T18:43:00.003+08:00

The other day, Sarii Darling was telling me about how her friends were asking about me and all. This guy named Shaun(or is it Shawn?) said i looked like a supermodel.

DUDE!! Which part of me looks like one(covered or uncovered)? I mean, i'm flattered by the comment but Dude!!! Seriously!! I AIN'T good looking!!! Please!!

Then there is another guy (i can't recall his name) who had wanted to pair SArii with a friend of his and all. He asked her whether i was 'FLY' ! ! !

That really made me burst out laughing. I mean, I know what that means but the image that popped up in my head was hilarious! Gosh! What's with all the Nigga Terminologies aye?

So anw Dude, this ones for you! You better Believe that i'm 'FLY' Homie! Ya really wanna see how 'FLY' i am Dawg?

here goes....

Now THAT is FLY ! ! !

You asked for it Balls :D

WORK! WORK! WORK!

2008-04-27T17:37:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since i've updated my bloggie so here goes. Oh! the title of this post is from the cute line the orc peons in Warcraft say when you assign a task to them.. HA HA HA.. Cute Lah!

Anw,

I've started working as a full timer in Giordano(lucky plaza). Reason being is that the pay is good ($1250 basic). Surprisingly, it was my first job application after NS and i got the job on the day itself. How Cool is that?

So anyway, i got posted to the busiest branch of Gio which is Lucky Plaza and boy is it hectic! There is never a moment to rest and you can hardly stand straight by the time evening comes. What makes it worse is my damn fatigue problem makes it so damn hard but i try my best. I really do...

My manager and my colleagues are really nice. We call our manager Amy and auntie cos she's always promoting stuff at the top of her voice. There's Firdaus, a really nice guy, Ibnor, a reserved MAt who's okay, Michelle, a chinese girl who is fun to joke with, su anne, 2 filipinos, and a couple more whom ive not really talked to much cos of the busy environment.

I was a little intimidated on my first day but i soon got the hang of things. My RSH experience really pays off! hahaha
Running around looking for sizes, folding and endless amount of clothes, running to other stores to get stock etc. Tiring but Fun!!!

Working in LP is really fun cos you get to meet people from many countries. In 4 days, i've met and chatted with people from Ireland, The middle East, Britain, Australia, the Philipines etc. There was even a guy from the Thailand who was telling me all the best places in thailand to go for *you know what*

Thanks but i'll pass Sir! *Eeeew!

Now on to the music that they play...

I couldn't believe my ears when Sum 41's 'WITH ME' played! That's the special song that Sarii and I share. I missed her so damn much when i heard it and what's more, it played 10 times that day! MAJOR heartache from missing her lah!

The rest of the songs are mostly rnb with stuff like 'BLEEDING LOVe' etc

Then theres the token IRRITATING song. this one's by Missy Elliot. Don't know what the damn title is but it's about her shaking her butt 'like an earthquake'.

PUKE lah!!! Gross!!! I mean, no offense to fat people but it's like watching a whale getting electrocuted.

SAri! Nee! can i join the AUPU???? Please! Please!

I'm so gonna burn some rock and punk into a cd when i'm free and play it! Bwahahaha

So yeah. i hope all goes well for me in work and with my medical problem. Give me your blessings Guys!! Need it! hahaha

~To end off this entry, i wanna thank my friends and SArii darling for their support and their understanding. I've not had much time to spend with them ever since i've started work but i'll make it up to them.

EL SENSACION OUT!!!

Ah!! Music to my ears!

2008-04-17T17:17:00.003+08:00

Call it boredom or call it randomness but i had this urge to write down the top ten songs i've been listening to this past few weeks. Some of them are on the list for a reason while one or two may leave you with question marks on your head. ANw, here goes..

Number 10

~VALENTINES LETTER - GOODBYE

This is, i believe, the Best song from my buddies. Nice riffs, catchy lyrics.. hmmm.. that goes for pretty much most of their songs but Goodbye has to be my favourite. . Missing is a close number 2 behind :D

Number 9

~AS I LAY DYING - NOTHING LEFT

If i were a wrestler, THIS would be my entrance music! Effin Cool! Fast Paced! A frontman with vocals that DON'T make him sound like a werewolf shitting out a porcupine...Hell yeah!! One of Metalcore's Finest Bands!

Number 8

~MUSHROOMHEAD - BEFORE I DIE

Damn! Old song that brings back the memories of secondary school! hahaha.. nvm

NUMBER 7

~RiHANNA - UMBRELLA

My non metal/rock/punk guilty pleasure! hehehe :D

Number 6

~SERJ TANKIAN -SKY IS OVER

Freakin Beautiful song by the frontman of my FAVOURITE BAND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!
Nice! Go! Go! Listen!!!

Number 5

~PAPA ROACH - TO BE LOVED

When i need a kick or a boost when i'm feeling the effects of my fatigue, this is the song that perks me up(a little). So yeah! Bleargh!!

Number 4

~THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS - FACE DOWN

Ah! i'm sure this song's on most of your playlists! No explanation needed aye

Number 3

~TRANSPLANTS - DJ DJ

TRANSPLANTS!! LEGENDS!! NUFF SAID!!

Number 2

~SUM 41 - WITH ME

AH! The song that i dedicated to SArii Sweets! Awesome Possum!! hahaha.. The lyrics are just great and they perfectly describe how i feel! Ah! Love! hahaha.. *shakes my monkey ass!! Woohoo!! SArii!! Love Ya!! Aaaaaahhh!!

It comes down to the top song on my playlist...

*Drumroll.....

Numero Uno

~AVENGED SEVENFOLD - AFTERLIFE

I think this is the freakin BEST A7X song! Not really a fan of Shadow's vocals but it's better than some of the crud out there. Syn and Zack are awesome guitarists! The Rev = Cool Drummer! Afterlife is a real pleasure to listen to! Two Monkey Thumbs Up!!

Aye! so yeah! those were the songs that were playing in my ears! feel free to make fun of me for it aye :D

Jason Sensation

Taking a Step back to go Forward

2008-04-17T16:51:00.003+08:00

As some of you might know by now, i've decided to take my O levels next year. I've set my eye on a place in Temasek Poly and i intend to do the Veterinary Technology and i'm gonna work my ass off for it. I've had enough of being second best or not being good enough. I'm freakin 22! Gotta grow up sometime you know! I'm still young and with a little hard work, determination and the love and support of SArii Sweets and my friends, i'll get to where i want to be.

Went for an interview at Giordano yesterday and i aced it. They were the only ones who offered a really good salary ( HELLO!!! $1250 for a starting pay plus cash incentives of up to $ 200 plus )

I mean, i really need to save up for my damn medicals and my studies so i had no choice. Well, it's okay :D I mean, after all, it's an honest living and the money doesn't hurt aye. hahaha

Fingers crossed that my medicals go well and that i'll be finally rid of this damn fatigue. (HATE YOU!! FRAG YOU!! AARRRRGGGHH!!! GET AWAY!!! LEAVE!!! ROAARRR!!! F##k! F**k!!)

~Bzzz...Bzzz ..Bzzz

PLease Hold On.. We are Experiencing TEchnical Difficulties...

Bzzz.. Bzzz... Bzzz~

Sorry about that folks..

So like i was saying before insanity got the better of me, i've gotta work really hard. Save Hard and then Study Hard. I really wanna do something good in life and this is the path i intend to take.

Wish me all the best guys :D

EL SENSACION OUT!!!!

Tears for your fears

2008-04-09T19:28:00.005+08:00

My heart, It aches..
For You

My eyes burn with tears..
For You

My breaths grow rapid..
For You

i close my eyes and scream..
For you

~You are the one who can make me cry with just one word but i'd be okay cos i love you too much. The pain chokes and suffocates but i ignore it cos my love for you is stronger than it. You are afraid of hurting me but hurt me, you did but like i said, it's okay cos i love you.

~You are my brightest burning star! You light up my life! You are a rough diamond but with time, your flaws will be few. All i ask is for you to take my hand and open your heart. You know i won't let you down...

~My heart, It Beats..
For You

I sing out loud..
For You

I'd take many a fall..
For You

Cos my love is unconditional..
For You

Farewell to the White Uniform

2008-04-09T13:33:00.003+08:00

It's finally over. My National Service is Done!. . Finito!

It wasn't easy saying goodbye to the friends and colleagues there. Everyone was sad that i was leaving. An officer gave me a book as a gift, my old course commander Ma'am Raja gave me a hug etc. Heck! even the Chief Warrant Officer opened the door for me and bade me farewell. I guess it's the things you do and the impact you leave behind that makes people feel that way. On the way out, i gave a final salute to my ship and my camp.. On the bus out for the final time

So here begins a new chapter to life. Back to work, paying for my medical fees and then saving up for my studies. It's gonna be tough but i've got the support of my friends and my dear sweet Sarina so... come on world! Give me your Best Shot! I can take It!

After all, they don't call me The Sensation for nothing..

heres a few pics of my NS life.. enjoy...

The view from my camp.. lovely ain't it

Grinning like an idiot

Taking a stretch on the roof..

Wong and myself.. Toothpaste models perhaps?

Jerald and EL Sensacion

Heres one for the ladies and the gays

Dancing on the roof on my last evening in camp

This ones a special one for Sarii! The Sun's setting under my finger..

King of the world aye! Farewell Changi Naval BAse!

Thank you for the memories..

CPL Jason Thomas

Sarii Sweets makes my knees go weak

2008-04-03T23:28:00.002+08:00

Sarii!

You've been really awesome (think i've said that countless times)

You make me so happy and i just can't get enough of you. Everytime i receive a sweet sms from you, i can't help but smile cos it makes me really happy.

You make me laugh when you do silly stuff. Your laughter is like the cutest thing to me. I can't stop thinking about you! I miss you so much when you ain't around.

I'm going nuts without you! Book me a place in IMH if i go completely MENTAL!

Thank you for loving me for who i am and even though i ain't the best looking guy or the hunkiest(is that even a word), you know that my heart is good and that is what counts right?

I can't wait to see you soon love

God Bless and Keep you safe..

Jason 'Sari's Sensation' Thomas

How Sweet the Innocence of a child

2008-04-02T21:56:00.002+08:00

The other day while at the provision shop, i saw a little chinese boy whom i guessed was around 6 years old, going into the provision shop with a little black kitten on his back. He bought a can of cat food and left the store excitedly. I couldn't help but smile at the sight cos his expression was really adorable.

I paid for my stuff and was walking back home when i saw him sitting near the playground. In his hands, he cradled the kitten and started feeding it. It was so GOSH DARN cute lah! The joy on his face was priceless! That right there, made my day.

That is the magic of a child! Their innocence and the joy they bring into our lives. The simple things in life make them happy and they say the funniest things to make us laugh. I believe that we should all learn from them and appreciate all the gifts we have, no matter how big or small they seem.

I can't wait to have kids of my own! A minimum of 3 for me and i'll be the happiest dad in the world. Taking them to the park to play, helping them with their homework etc.. hehehe.. Gonna be an awesome Dad! Just mark my words :D

So the next time you feel all stressed out, stop to watch a child play. It'll put a smile on your face

EL Sensacion OUT.....

Spider sense is Tingling!!!!

2008-03-31T19:27:00.003+08:00

There is a guy in camp who goes by the name of Terry Pang and this young man suffers from violent bouts of Fits. It can come at any time and my colleagues and myself have to keep an eye out for him. The bad part about Terry is that he is Incredibly rude to everyone, officers and supervisors included..

Anw,

Last week, My Staff Sergeant Durai, my friend Wong along with Terry and myself went down to have our lunch. After we were done, we made our way back to the office and we were engaged in our usual banter and joking away. We were so engrossed in it that we did not notice that Terry had been left behind. While we were walking, something at the back of my head told me to turn around. (a sixth sense or an instinct perhaps) Terry was on the onset of having his fits. He was actually quite a distance from us but i managed to run fast enough to catch him. Had i been slower, he would have fallen backwards and hit his head hard onto the floor. Gosh! a few seconds really makes a hell lot of difference.

Cradling his head, i gently laid him on the ground and tried calming him down. It was really sad to see his body spasm uncontrollably. The veins in his neck and face were popping out and he was salivating non stop.

After it was all over, i picked him up and helped him as he staggered back to the office to take a rest. Even then, he was really ungrateful and started scolding everyone who helped him. i mean, what the hell lah! i was pretty cheesed off but i let it go..

I mean, no one asked to be born that way and despite his rude behaviour and all, i pity him..

So yeah! The Random Hero Saves a life again

Who's next?

Monkey Addictions!

2008-03-31T17:15:00.002+08:00

~Monkey! Monkey!
What a wonderful thing.
Monkey! Monkey!
You wanna make me sing.

Climbing up trees,
Swinging from branch to branch.
Humping little kittens,
eating bananas for lunch!~

Good grief! Someone please buy me a monkey! Love them! Love them!

Oh! how they fascinate me with their silly antics and cheeky tricks. They are so adorable!

Chimpanzees! Macauques! (sounds like My C**K) Orangutans!

LaLaLaLa!!

I'm going Bananas!!!

Heheheh

~Heres some of my fav monkey pics... Enjoy!

Yeah! Gonna get a chimp to carry the rings on my wedding! My wifey is so gonna kill me!

Wish me luck!

Heres to the Cheeky monkey in all of us

El Sensacion Mono

NS memories

2008-03-31T13:14:00.004+08:00

In exactly 8 days, i'll have officially completed my National Service. Kinda having mixed feelings about it cos part of me is happy to be free but the other part of me is missing the friends, places, memories and times of it... here's a little recap of my life in the Navy

~ 9th JUne 2006 - was enlisted as a fresh recruit along with another 122 guys. Felt really nervous and i honestly did not know what to expect. The sergeants and the officers put on fake smiles as we were led into the hall with our loved ones. My dad and my ex were there with me on that day. I remember that she and i were joking that we might bump into an old friend of ours named Jun Hao and amazingly, we saw him there. I mean the chance of it was like 1 in a thousand lah! It was a nice surprise though and it was even better cos he ended up being my bunk mate. Anw, once our parents left, the doors of the hall was closed and then... our ears were given a workout by the 'FRIENDLY' sergeants. Running here and there with our bags and being screamed at! it was quite bad! what's worse was that my System of a Down Cd broke during the run with our bags. i was so totally pissed! That night, we were made to carry our shoe lockers down in 3 minutes and other ridiculous and sadistic punishments..

As BMT went along, things became better, i became fitter, had the best six pack in my company (can't say that now after too much good food once i passed out ) etc. Time spent writing letters to my ex and all that. The highlight of my BMT was firing the AR 15 rifle! It was so freakin cool and i wish i could do it again. BANG! BANG! hahaha :D

In BMT, everyones true colours came out. It was quite easy to tell who were strong at heart and who wasn't. After 8 weeks of torture, we all passed out and moved on to our next phase of training...

My buddies Jun HAo, Addison, Ebenezeer, Chee Wee, Km etc. Miss ya guys like hell

~Post BMT

After BMT, we were sent for our JUnior Rating Course. It wasn't much fun or anything so i'll skip this part. After i was done with that, i was sent to train as a Gunner. I was pretty afraid at first cos the instructors and officers there were the Hardest and meanest bastards in the navy but to everyones surprise (myself included) i did really well and ended the course as the BEst Trainee. Initially, everyone didn't think that i would do well but i proved them all wrong. (BWAHAHAHA!! SWEET VICTORY!!!)

~ Ship Life

I was one of the 3 to be posted to the MIssile Gun Boat which is one of the NAvy's oldest type of battleship (can't really call it a ship cos it's small but whatever). The Mighty SEA TIGER. Along with 5 other MGBs, it was full of history. i felt really proud to raise the national flag onboard every morning. so what happened during my time onboard? Same old story here.. People thought i couldn't make it and all but i proved them wrong. Ship life was a really unique and sailing is an experience that i'll always remember. Dropping anchor and eating garlic bread, getting drenched in the heavy downpour while sailing back. Sitting in the ammo bay surrounded by tons of explosives(really freakin scary). one slip and BOOOOOM!!!

~Downward spiral

AS you may or may not know, i have been dealing with fatigue syndrome for two years and while i was onboard, it affected me severely. Sleepless nights, knee pains and non stop work made it really unbearable. i went to see the medical officer with regards to my fatigue and they posted me back to my training camp. I felt really sad to leave for i had made many friends and i felt a sense of attachment to my ship. so it was back to the place where it all started and i was sent for another course.. etc etc.. met awesome friends such as Keet Mun and Kelvin

Got a new posting as an Armourer/ MAterials Assistant ( what is it with me and getting posted to stuff that requires me to handle guns? hmmmm.. sounds wrong eh)

Met a whole new bunch of friends.. Marcus, Ivan, Bryan, Aaron and Dess.

To be honest, i feel like a celeb in camp! Everywhere i turn, someone waves and says Hi! i"ve friends everywhere lah! Gosh! hahah

I'm always the one cracking jokes and doing nonsense all the time. i lost count of the number of times i've made my friends burst out in utter hysteria

HEck! even the officers like me! Won't ever forget Warrant harbajhan who would chase me and pester me to shave my sideburns! Bleargh!!! to you man! hahaha

~There is really TOO MUCH stuff to write down and believe me when i say that this is only a quarter of it..

~ Here's to the lessons learnt, the gains and the losses and the wonderful memories of NS.

After all, how often can you tell someone that you were a sailor aye?

Jason 'the SAILsation' Thomas

¿Es este amor?

2008-03-26T18:56:00.007+08:00

Sarina! Miss Tiny Fingers! Princess! Lizard Hater! hahaha

You've been really sweet and i'm really glad we met (through the strangest and still unexplained way). hahaha

The first time we met and i was all awkward and shy ( jumbling up my words and tripping on things). The way you giggled when i ate jellybeans. The Verbal Diarrhoea you had on that day. Gosh! You were so funny and i couldn't stop smiling.

The second time was even better! You playing Mortal Kombat on my PsP and you really kicked ass! (3D ninja ass that is). Then it was off to the arcade! House of the Dead!! hahaha! Gosh! you looked like you were gonna drop the gun and run away! hahaha. Chicken rice lunch and the 'dance move' you showed me! I was in stitches :D
The best part of the day was the birthday present you gave me! Chunky the Monkey! Gummy bears and the Best Freakin Birthday card i've ever received. ( REd Noses ) Aiyoh!!

The next one was the movie! We had a hard time choosing which movie to watch cos most of it sucked. Settled on PS I LOVE YOU and didn't regret it. Awesome movie! Oh! Dinner at Pastamania and my addiction to Tobasco sauce! hahaha.. Hot Spicy Indian Thang am i?

ASal's church drama thingee and the romantic airport escapades! ( nothing X rated kiddies )
AWESOME POSSUM!! Me sweeping you off your feet and kissing you! Gosh! hahahah

*PS, you still owe me that Ice Cream and Parsley Buffet treat! Hooray!

Anw, I know that you're gonna read this but i don't care (me being shy and all),

You've given me the hope i lost in love. You make me laugh, you make me feel loved, you care for me and love me for who i am. You Make Me Happy! It's as simple as that.Talking on the phone, texting , msn etc ain't good enough. Nothing is better than being there with you and it sucks that time flies by so fast but still, i enjoy every precious minute.

I know you have your insecurities and i have mine but i want you to trust me. Have a little faith and work with me and build this relationship up as a team.

You're afraid of what your parents might say or do but as long as we remain steadfast, we can show them that our love is true.

It's still a long way to go before thinking about all this and i can't wait to see where life takes us.

One life to live without regret..

Be strong my little princess. . .Be Strong and trust your heart

Te Amo

sensación de jason

Far is where i fell

2008-03-26T18:12:00.003+08:00

My ex has been sending me text messages which go on about how much she misses me and how she regrets what she did to me. Telling me that she wished that she was still with me and how lonely she is..

Jeez Louis!!

What good is that now? Wasn't i good enough for you then?

When i first met you all shy and without confidence, i turned you around and made you believe in yourself.

Wasn't my honest and unconditional love enough?

Didn't i treat you with respect and never forced you to do anything you didn't want to?

Even when i was down to my last $10 bucks, i'd always top up your card cos i'd rather go hungry than not be able to talk to you.

When you were sick, who took care of you when your own parents couldn't give two shits?

17 girls in school after me and i choose you. sure there were pretty ones, rich ones, whatever but i chose you for your heart? Doesn't that show something?

Proudly talking about you to all my friends and telling them how lucky i was to have you in my life.

Never giving in to temptation like some people i know. The guys in camp who had girlfriends but cheated on them or visited prostitutes. I never gave in to that rubbish.

Being a pair of safe arms that caught you whenever you fell

i could go on and on... but.. what's the point.

~Not good enough???

So much so that you had to go FUCK some other guy? you know how GODDAMN sick that is? I never asked you for it cos i respected you so what the FUCK?

Fall in love with a guy who has gone to prison 3 times and would beat you up without the slightest thought?

Lie to the people who loved and cared for you?

Turn a complete 360 and become a *rhymes with witch

Drop me in the most cruel manner

GOD!!

Now you wanna tell me that you regret all that? So sorry to say but we'll never be together again. It's because of you i turned to the bottle and i got hurt and fucked up.

Nothing but tears and nightmares.

I Thank my friends who were there to support me. Su,Prim and the VLC, the guys in camp and the rest of my friends.

I owe you guys a BIG one.

You know, it took real guts to forgive you the VERY NIGHT i found out about you and him. I did it and i'm proud of myself. A lesser person would never have done that. ISn't that called love? I guess it wasn't good enough for you

So i wish you all the best in life. Hope someone comes along to treat you well. When you do find him, don't screw it.

~tener cuidado

Let me go!

2008-03-23T18:12:00.002+08:00

I hate this fatigue so much. Go away! PLEASE!!!

Ever since i've had this damn fatigue thing, i've never woken up feeling fresh and energized. Do you know how it feels like to go through each day feeling tired as hell and not being able to do nuts about it. Two long years with it and i want it to stop. I wanna go back to being a bundle of energy and feel ALIVE again. It sucks when you see people who are healthy and normal but they waste away in laziness.

It's taken away so much from me. My fitness, my energetic old self, money spent on supplements, surgery etc. I remember the times when i wasn't strong enough to go through it and that was when my ex brought my world crashing down. Night's spent crying myself to sleep. Anger, Frustration and pointless negativity. At some points, i prayed for God to take my life away but i realized how stupid i was for such wishes. I was born and baptized a Roman Catholic and my faith in God was what kept me going.

I hope this goes away soon. WE've only one life to live and for me, i don't want to live it like this

For Each Ecstatic Instant

2008-03-23T16:39:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was really awesome. I went out with Sarii and we went to the expo to watch an Easter Drama/Celebration thingee with her friend Asal. Prior to meeting ASal, we went into one of the exhibition halls where there was a book sale. I wanted to sit and watch Hi 5 with the little kids but mean old Sarii didn't let me! hehehe. We then picked up a book on Names For Babies and chose the most random names to give our kids. I chose Delicioso for our daughter and she chose Balthazhar for our son. Gosh! if we really did that, our kids would murder us. It was then time to meet Asal and go watch the drama.I have to admit that it was well put together and was Good. After the drama, we hung out with Asal's Church friends and played the silliest and oh so totally hilarious games. Ps.. Sarii took forever to come up with her 'peace sign' action. Hahaha

Sarii and myself then made our seXay ways to the airport where we *CENSORED*...

HAhaha.. yeah right!

She wanted to treat me to some ice cream at swensens but it was too expensive and i would have felt really bad if she did. We spent time cracking jokes and making each other laugh out. Feeling like Prince Charming (with a mini Mohawk and all dressed in black), i swept her off her feet and kissed her. It was magical and it was romantic. Won't tell you what else happened cos it's only for her and me to know *winks ;)

Gosh! i really love this girl so much. I know that i am taking a risk with her but i believe that it will be all worth it in the end. She came into my life at a point where i had given up on love and her care and unconditional love has given me strength. I'm really scared that something may happen and i'd lose her but i have faith and i won't lose hope.

A friend of mine named Andrea gave me an awesome piece of advice..

~ Don't go Looking for Love but instead, Let it come and find you~

Well, Andrea, it's found me and now that it's here, i don't wanna let go.

I love you Sarii. God Bless You

Princess This Ones For You!

2008-03-21T17:21:00.002+08:00

I don't want this moment, to ever end,
Where everything's nothing, without you.
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile,
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

Through it all, I made my mistakes.
I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I'll hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.
And pieces of memories fall to the ground.
I know what i didn't have so, I won't let this go.
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

All the streets, where I walked alone,
With nowhere to go.
Have come to an end.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I'll hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.

I don't want this moment to ever end.
Where everything's nothing without you.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I'll hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

SUM 41 - With Me

Blinded by our Bliss

2008-03-21T16:58:00.004+08:00

How many times have you turned on your tv set and watched as images of suffering children and innocent people flash past in your screen? How does it make you feel? Do you feel Anger? Sadness? Frustration or perhaps Ignorance? In a society where we let our stomachs rule and where we give in to greed and temptation each day, we fail to see the suffering that goes on outside our lives. Let's take for example the old lady on the street with packs of tissues for sale. I've seen people move out of her direction to avoid being 'hassled' by her. How about the crippled or those who are deformed. If i had a dollar for every time i saw someone cast a look of revulsion on them, i'd be able to make a tidy sum. Spare a thought for these poor people whom life has dealt a bad hand too. Put yourself in their shoes and see what it feels like to be downtrodden. I could go on and on but i'll leave you to think about this yourself and see what changes you can make in your lives

Through these two years that i've been living with my fatigue, my eyes have been opened up even more to what's wrong with this world and in my own life. It's made me appreciate life even more and i count all my blessings.Ever since i was a child, i've been raised to do good to others and to be kind and considerate. I thank my parents and my faith for making me who i am today and i hope that what's in my heart will rub off on my friends and the people i love. Let's not take things for granted.

God Bless

A blog is born!

2008-03-21T16:54:00.000+08:00

Bring out the champagne and let's make merry cos The Sensation has finally set up a blog. You've gotta forgive me cos i was stuck in a cave for the most of my life writing down my thought on the walls. Anyway, the reason that i created this blog is because i've got lots of stuff in my head and there isn't anymore room in this skull of mine.

Oh yeah! a certain 'Princess' wanted me to do it to so Sarii, this ones your fault! hahaha

So please waste precious minutes of your lives to read my bloggie.

The sensation loves ya!