Web of Shadows

Little Spider, Little Spider
Why do you cry?
Are things not going right for you?
I see you struggle up the web your on,
despite how it feels inside.


Do you need a hand?
No you say?
Well, i'm sure you can do it :)
I see a Fire Inside You.
You WILL Do it.

You're not like the rest.
You care about others
and selfless in your acts.
Why do you do it even though
rewards for that are far and few?

You've been bullied for your kindness
yet you put on a smile.
You're patient and caring unlike,
the others of your kind.

You were once full of life
but now a shadow of your former self.
You wonder where all the energy went.
A torment that eats at you.
You had your heart broken and it made things worse
i heard.


Through it all you struggled.
Grasping straws for hope,
searching for truth and the cure.
Your attempts had proven futile,
yet you still see light in the darkness
and keep hope in your heart.

That's Good Little Spider... That's Good


I'm certain that there are Ones that are Bigger than you,
who are not as strong at heart!



Little Spider, Little Spider
What's that you say?
You long to break free from your skin
and start on a brand new slate?
You want to be what you were meant to be?


Then Fight Little Spider!
Push Hard from Within!
Let the old skin drop away
and come out feeling new.
Stretch out your hands and feel,
what it's like to be alive again.


For once you find new found energy,
the Symbol on your back will show.
Then everyone will see that the little Spider has,
Venom in his skin(in time you will see what i mean)

They will know that the Little Spider,
has been given a new lease in life.
An opportunity to make up for what he lost
and to be able to do what his heart desires.


Little Spider, Little Spider

Leave your mark on the world.
Show the ones who look down on you that,
that you are the one that proves them wrong

Gosh! It's been too damn long since i've updated my blog or touched my pc for that matter. . You guys and gals must have thought i climbed up a tree and forgot to come down aye?


What's happened in my life since the last post? well for starters, i joined Crumpler 3 weeks ago and it's been awesome :D It's a real fun place to work in and my colleagues are wacky! It doesn't feel like work at all and it's because we joke around and the environment there is really relaxed. Fun! Fun!

I'll try to take some pictures and post them up the next time :)




~Sarii Sweets and myself enjoyed watching kung fu panda and the Incredible Hulk! Awesome movies! KFP had so many coincidences that sari and myself share in real life. She's a real Darling! I love that girl! She's the sweetest thing(she bought me a comic book!!!) hehehehe
She makes me so damn Happy and i love her with all my heart and soul.. sounds cliched but it's true!!

~Hung Out with Ramon the whole night on the 24th and we encountered 'Flying Tarantulas' and Muay Thai Trannies!! That's Scary Shit!! Thank God we survived the night :P


~HAd A pleasant surprise when Neeraj and GAya turned up at the store and asked me to hang out for lunch. They brought me to Cineleisure and Sarii Baby surprised me there(she grabbed me from behind and i gave out a funny squeak!!)


*I'll fill up my bloggie the next day off i have guys.. so damn sorry about it :(


TAke Care and God Bless all of You :D









EL SenSacion

S is for Survive Not Suffer

LAst night after i got the results from my CPAP and fell into depression, i spent the night tossing and turning in bed and thinking about my fatigue and i told myself that all the sadness and anger would get me nothing. I decided to be positive and wake up to a new day with a smile even if the fatigue is bad. Guess What, i didn't feel too bad today and i hope this continues till the day i finally get rid of it.

Dear friends like Prim and Suee also have shit that they are dealing with and sometimes i wonder why stuff like this happens to the nice guys(and girls). Whatever it is, i hope that we find a way to rid ourselves of these 'leeches'

I wanna thank Sarii Sweets for being such a darling and for being true in her love for me. I love you lots Baby Girl :)



~RISE AGAINST -SURVIVE

Somewhere between happy, and total f**king wreck
Feet sometimes on solid ground, sometimes at the edge
Spend your waking moments, simply counting time
Is to Give up on your hopes and dreams, give up on your…

Life for you, has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We’ve all been sorry, we’ve all been hurt
But how we survive, is what makes us who we are

An obvious disinterest, a barely managed smile
A deep nod in agreement, a status quo exile
I shrink my obligations, I miss all your deadlines
I excel at quitting early, and f**king up my life

Life for you, has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We’ve all been sorry, we’ve all been hurt
But how we survive, is what makes us who we are

All smiles and sunshine, a perfect world on a perfect day
Everything always works out, I have never felt so f**king great
All smiles and sunshine, a perfect world on a perfect day
Everything always works out, I have never felt so great~

What do i do? Where do i turn to?

Guess What, as soon as i posted the last entry, i got my results for the cpap trial and the results show that my air passageways are not the problem so CPAP is not the solution.

I don't know what to do. . I feel so emotionally F**Ked Right now! All this time waiting and for what?? NOTHING!!!

I'm back to where i began. searching for a cure to this madness! Finding a way to free myself from it's clutches..

I can't even type out how i feel right now. I'm distressed! Shitty!

Heartache...


I'm crying my eyes out and i'm all alone here in my tears. This feeling of helplessness is driving me crazy. i HATE this fucking fatigue! What the FUCK did i ever do to deserve something like this..

ANGER
FRUSTRATION
DEPRESSION
HELPLESSNESS

Like some kind of Leech, You suck the life out of me...




SALVAME...



please

CPAP Update

Well, it's been a week with the CPAP on trial and there isn't any improvement on my condition whatsoever. The feeling really sucks you know. All the hope on it and nothing to show for at the end of the trial.

I guess that it'll take a bit more time before the improvements start to show but impatience is getting the best of me. I mean, 2 and a half years with this shit and i just want it to stop.

The main thing that i don't like about the CPAP thingee is that i have to sleep with a gas mask strapped to my face and it's really difficult to sleep with it on :(

Bummer Days!!

So yeah, what i'm gonna do is to give it more time and hope for the best.